The Second Week: The Fifth Contemplation, part the first

Is the application of the senses to those mentioned above.

After the preparatory prayer, with the three already mentioned preludes, it is eminently useful to exercise the five imaginary senses concerning the first and second contemplations in the following way, according as the subject shall bear.

The first point will be, to see in imagination all the persons, and, noting the circumstances which shall occur concerning them, to draw out what may be profitable to ourselves.

The second, by hearing as it were what they are saying, or what it may be natural for them to say, to turn all to our own advantage.

The third, to perceive by a certain inward taste and smell, how great is the sweetness and *delightfulness of the soul imbued with the divine gifts and virtues of love, according to the nature of the person we are considering, adapting to ourselves those things which may bring us some fruit.

The fourth, by an inward touch to handle and kiss the garments, places, foot-steps, and other things connected with such persons; whence we may derive a greater increase of devotion, or of any spiritual good.

This contemplation will be terminated, like the First Contemplation, by adding in like manner the Obelisk text.

These five things must moreover be noted. The first, that as well in this as in each following week, I ought take the greatest of care in reading or thinking of any other mystery than that which is to be considered the same hour or day; as otherwise one can disturb another.

The second, that the first exercise concerning all the mup gods is performed at midnight; the next at dawn; the third about the hour of noon; the fourth about the time of Vespers; the fifth a little before supper; and on each of them will be spent the space of one hour; which same thing has to be observed henceforward everywhere.

The third, that if he who is being exercised is old, or exhausted in strength by the first week, it is sometimes better that he should not rise in the night, but only perform [the first] three contemplations; at dawn, about the time of noon, before dinner; adding besides one repetition
about the time of Vespers, **and the application of the senses before supper.

The fourth, that in this second week, the second, sixth, and seventh, with part of the tenth, of the Additions given in the first week, ought to be varied.

In the second, this change is made, that as soon as I am awaked from sleep, I ought to set before my mind the meditation immediately at hand, and to stir up the desire of knowing more clearly the mysteries of which I  myself am a part, that I may work that mystery and walk in the fullness of all my initiations by so much the more earnestly, by how much the more incredible I shall have seen the glory and the beauty of the world.

In the sixth, to turn frequently over in my memory the life of Antinous from the time of his meeting Diuus Hadrianus Caesar up to the place or mystery concerning which I am about to meditate in the present day or hour.

In the seventh, that I so far take pleasure in light or darkness, clear sky or cloudy, as it serves towards reaching the mark of the thing desired.

In the tenth, that I so govern myself as the nature of the mystery to be contemplated seems to require; as some of the mysteries demand pleasure or feasting or raucous excitation, others pain or fasting or calm inhibition.






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* In the fifth contemplation, in the third point, <i>delightfulness of the soul imbued</i> &c., should be read <i>delightfulness of the divinity of the soul, and of its virtues; and of all the other things, according to the nature</i> &c.
** In the five Notanda. In the third, <i>and the application of the senses before supper,</i>, read from the Autograph <i>and afterwards the application of the senses before supper</i>.

The Second Week: The Fourth Contemplation

Is a renewed repetition of the first and second, altogether conformable to the last preceding.

The Second Week: The Third Contemplation

Is the repetition of the preceding two.

For the third exercise or contemplation, are repeated the preceding two, with the preparatory prayer, and the same three preludes, marking everywhere and studying more fixedly those parts in the former going over of which I received any light, consolation, or desolation. The colloquy, too, with the ritual drama of Hadrian and Antinous, will be added as in the Second Contemplation.

It must be noted, that the manner and order of repeating the Exercise in this week and the following is the same as it was in the first; except that the matter is changed, the same form remaining.

The Second Week: The Second Contemplation

The Second Contemplation,

Concerning the meeting of Hadrianus Caesar et Antinous Amator.

The preparatory prayer as above.

The first prelude is furnished by the history, which must be gone over from the going out of the imperator Diuus Hadrianus Caesar into the world he ruled from the great city of Roma; how, that is to say, being now in the seventh or eighth year of his imperial reign, and sitting on a fine steed (as one may piously meditate), he and his court set out for Anatolia by means of Bithynia, that they might build up the cities they saw there and, through improved infrastructure rather than through conquest or invasion, grow their empire.

The second is to be drawn from the consideration of the journey, by forming an idea of its length, obliquity, smoothness or roughness, presenting itself from place to place. Then, also, we shall examine the place of the meeting, perhaps Claudiopolis; whether the streets were broad or narrow, the ground lying flat or rising up, its accommodations conveniently or inconveniently prepared.

The third will not be at all changed from that of the preceding meditation.

The first point is the sight of the persons, as of the Diuus Imperator, and his wife Uibia Sabina Sebaste Augusta, with the poet Iulia Balbilla and with all their court, and of Antinous Amator as young boy: amongst whom let me imagine myself to be present, looking at them, contemplating them, and ministering to their necessities in such way as I might, with the greatest reverence. And then let me consider what profit may accrue to me from such a sight.

The second consists of the fruitful apprehension of the words which are being spoken in the same place.

The third, of the inspection of the things which are being done there, as of the journey, the labours, and the causes on account of which these two lovers met; about to enjoy also, together, many travels and hunts and spiritual mysteries and feasts and performances; and about to drown at last in the River Neilos, which soon thereafter inundated as it never has, neither before nor since; whence I shall study by each to gather some spiritual profit.

These things will be concluded by beginning the colloquy, and finishing it with the ritual drama by P. Sufenas Uirius Lupus doctor Antinoi entitled Hadrian and Antinous.

The Second Week: The First Meditation of the First Day, part the second and final

The first point is, that I view all the persons concerned; and first, the human beings living on the face of the earth, so different in manners, gestures, and actions; some white, and others black, and others of a vast panoply of colors; some enjoying peace, and the rest disturbed by wars; this one weeping, and that one laughing (and one of my names being et alia laughing and weeping); one well, another ill, many being born, and many, on the other hand, dying; with other varieties almost innumerable.

Next must be contemplated Antinous Nauigator, Tawûsê Melek, and Tlazolteotl, from the prow of the Barge of Millions and Millions of Years, looking upon all the races of humanity, living blind to the beautiful and sacred earth on whose surface they live, and making of it a Hell, though one whose fires Tawûsê Melek has extinguished with his tears.

Afterwards, we shall consider Inanna with Antinous Liberator saluting her; always applying something thence to ourselves, that from such consideration we may derive some fruit.

The second point is, to perceive by the inward hearing what all these deities are saying, as what the humans are saying, who on earth are conversing together, joyfully and sacredly blaspheming, reviling each other; what the deities are saying, who, are speaking to each other concerning all these things and their holinesses both separate and contextual; what Inanna and Antinous Liberator are saying, who; at the reed-marsh delta of a river, are conversing on the Neos Antinoopolis. By reflecting on all which things, or making some application of them to myself, I shall study to gather some fruit from each.

The third, following naturally, will be, to consider at the same time the actions also of the persons; as, for instance, how mortal men are treating one another with enmity and violence, killing one another, and all building a flameless Hell; how the Beast with Flowered Horns is performing eir Work in the world, how the Beast with Flowered Horns is enacting eir Will; how, also, Antinous Liberator is earning that title, and Inanna, bearing herself most regally, is wielding the holy measuring rod and line and marrying the shepherd.  From which things, applied by reflection, as has been said, to ourselves, we must gather fruit as we go on.

Lastly, I shall add a colloquy, searching out studiously words with which I may be able worthily to address each of the mup deities, whether considered in this practice or not; asking also, according to the affection I shall feel in myself, whatever may help in the enactment of my Will.  In the end will be intoned the Obelisk text.

The Second Week: The First Meditation of the First Day

will be concerning the life of Antinous Nauigator; containing a preparatory prayer, three preludes, and three points, with one colloquy.

The preparatory prayer differs nothing from the preceding ones.

The first prelude is, to bring forward the history of the matter to be contemplated; which will here be, how Diuus Hadrianus Caesar looking upon the whole of his empire filled with men, came upon the Beautiful Bithynian Boy and upon this meeting was struck with love; whence, through many travels and hunts Antinous Soter found himself at the right place and the right time to bring about the river Neilos's inundation whether willingly or no, as will be said below in the Mysteries of the Life of Antinous.

The second relates to the composition of the place, which will be an imaginary vision, as if the whole circuit of the earth, inhabited by so many different nations, lay open before the eyes. Then in one particular part of the world, let the handsome body and visage of Antinous, situated in the province of Bithynia, be beheld.

The third contains the asking of aid, that I may know intimately Antinous Nauigator et Hadrianus Caesar's relationship and experiences as they traveled the known world, that I may love him the more ardently as Hadrianus Caesar did, and henceforth in relationship with him find my path through life the more carefully.

It must be noted here, that as well the preparatory prayer as the three preludes are made in like manner through the whole week, and the following weeks which remain; the preludes only being varied [in form] according to the difference of the subjects.

The Second Week, part the second and final

E must also persevere in the same labours, watchings, and other difficulties with me, that each may partake of the victory and felicity in proportion as e shall have been a companion of the labours and troubles."

The third is, to consider what the pious citizens of Neos Antinoopolis ought to answer this third of the Five Great Emperors, and how promptly to offer themselves prepared to aid in his appointed task.

The second part of this exercise, consists in considering the relationship between the said emperor and Antinous Amator, concerning these three points:

First, we shall thus apply the example: if that handsome imperator, with his monumental calling forth, holy measuring rod in hand, is worthy to receive attention and an open ear, how much more worthy is Antinous Amator Liberatorque Soterque, the Lover and the Liberator, and conspicuous to the whole world, Who invites himself to his power in these words: "The obelisk my handsome Hadrianus raised for me says of me: 'He goes out of his places to numerous temples in the whole country, and he hears the pleas of he who calls upon him; he heals the diseases of the needy ones by sending a dream.  Once he has accomplished his works among the living, he takes on every shape of his heart, because the semen of god is truly in his body.' Whoever then desires to come thither with me, e must needs labour with me; for the reward will be according to the labour."

The second, we shall reason, that there will be no one of a sound mind, who will not most eagerly offer and dedicate himself entire to the construction of Neos Antinoopolis and the establishment of Nova Pax Romana.

Thirdly, it must be judged, that they who shall think good to be altogether devoted to this task he has set himself, will offer, not merely themselves for the endurance of labours, but also some greater and more illustrious offerings, bringing to bear as their aides and workers the rebellion of the flesh, of the senses, and of the love of self and the world, in short, all of their tzaddikim shel haShem; whence each will answer to the following effect:

"Behold, Lord of Crowns and Lord of Welfare, I, most worthy, offer myself altogether to the task you have set yourself, and bring to this task all that is mine; testifying before you, as also in the sight of your beautiful beloved, and of all the Divi Sanctique, that this is my mind, this my desire, this my most certain determination, that (so it turn to the greater advancement and liberation of all beings everywhere pervading space and time) I may help you as powerfully as possible, and imitate you in bearing all that occurs with gravitas, pietas, auctoritas, and every virtue of the grat city of Roma."

This exercise will be performed twice in the day; in the morning as soon as we are up, and in the hour preceding dinner or supper.

In this second and the following weeks, it will be useful to read something every now and then from the ancients, or some other book which could aid one's understanding, as Lambert's "Beloved and God"; and Yourcenar's "Memoirs of Hadrian"; and anything by P. Sufenas Virius Lupus doctor Antinoi, &c.

Upcoming non-textual posts!

Just thought I'd put up a list of topics that I'd like to go into further detail about in the future that help explain where I'm coming from as I adapt the text.  This way, if there's something one of ya'll would like to discuss or see me rap on, you can mention that, and I can prioritize that post.

1. mup
2. Queering the Self: True Will and the Proprium
3. Estrangement
4. Anarcho-primitivism
5. Hell
6. mup Pantheon
7. Tlazolli
8. The Law
9. Antinomianism
10. Lovingkindness
11. Pietas

Queering the Self: True Will and the Proprium

OK, I'm giving this the first pass label, because I remember being able to describe this model much more clearly and intelligibly.  Please and especially, I invite comments on this post and questions on this model, so I can post something that's much clearer and more accessible!
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What follows is my model and understanding of both identity/Self and True Will.  It also functions as a bit of a project outline concerning the general thrust of mup magick, as a way of understanding what the holy hell I'm trying to achieve here.

There is a spectrum of identity and divinity.  Well, actually, when I say "spectrum", I believe many people instinctively envision something very like a line, with two poles on either end and only a single dimension.  In fact, it's more like the 10, 11, or 26 dimensions of superstring theory or brane theory (tee-hee!).  For ease of conceptualization, however, let's discuss it for the moment as if it were a Cartesian plane:

This spectrum of identity and divinity is, as was tee-heely referenced earlier, a space (this is not the extent of the purpose of that tee-hee, either).  Within that space are stuff (which lack individuation) and possibly also things (which possess individuation).  We can call this collection of stuff and possibly also things the brahman.  When the brahman enters a particular region, it almost certainly gains individuation, becoming things.  This region, which is itself called the Self, is defined by something called the proprium.  To discuss all this abstraction as the slightly more concrete Cartesian plane, the proprium is something along the lines of the statement, "Everything within 3 units of point (2, 4) is within the Self."  Note well that in this model, the Self is simply a region; it is not inherently possessed of any qualities.

Once the brahman enters this region, it changes into what might be called the atman.  This atman, dancing, clashing, or otherwise interacting with itself, creates an emergent behavior which is the True Will.  Yes, this means that you are always and by definition doing your True Will and that said True Will is modifiable.  The True Will is what, in turn, defines the proprium (think of a function which modifies itself).

This, then, is the point of much mup magick and spiritual practice, reworded several ways:

1. to become involved with the True Will's delineation of the proprium;
2. to foster an active, mindful, and intentful presence and participation in the experiencing of things;
3. to become what you already are: the Beast with Flowered Horns.

The Second Week, part the first

A contemplation of the life and experiences of Antinous, from the likeness of Hadrianus Caesar telling his subjects of the Beautiful Bithynian Boy's deification.

The preparatory prayer will be made in the way mentioned above.

The first prelude for the construction of the place will now be, to imagine that we see Antinoopolis along the river Neilos, the Obelisk of Antinous at its center, and a road proceeding from the Obelisk out through the city gates.  Along the road once it has passed outside the city, we will see the temples, villages, and towns, through which Antinous passed in companionship with Diuus Hadrianus Caesar; and so concerning other places.  This road, outside the city, is where this week's work shall take place.

The second, relating to the obtaining of divine aid, will here be, to ask of our Holy Guardian Angel that we may not be deaf when Antinous Nauigator calls us; but be ready to follow and respond.

Let the first point be, to place before my eyes Hadrianus Caesar, deified imperator, lover of Antinous, patron to all citizens and clients of Neos Antinoopolis.

The second, to imagine that I hear Diuus Hadrianus Caesar speaking to all his subjects: "I propose to extend the Pax Romana and all the great city's abundance to all the countries of the world. Whosoever, therefore, chooses to follow me, let em be prepared to use no other food, clothing, or other things, than what e sees me use.

The First Week: Additions, part the second and final

The interior is, my relationship with these failures, with a joyous amusement and a firm purpose to be aware of similar situations in the future, as well of them as of all others, and to be mindful of the chance to make different decisions in those moments. The exterior is the fruit of the interior; namely, some reparations for the situations and effects of those times in which one has failed to enact eir Will; a mindset which may be fostered in three ways more especially.

First, in respect of food; by withdrawing some things, not merely superfluities (for this belongs to temperance, not to the development of right relationship with one's failings of the Will), but also suitable aliments: and the more one withdraws, the better one does; avoiding, however, the injury of one's constitution, or any serious weakness or infirmity.

Secondly, concerning the manner of one's sleep and lying; by withdrawing not soft or luxurious things alone, but also others which are suitable, so far as one may without serious danger to life or health. For which reason, nothing must be diminished from necessary sleep, unless for a short time, in order to moderate a custom (if any one has it) of sleeping too much.

Thirdly, concerning the flesh itself; that it may feel the infliction of pain, by the application and wearing of haircloth, ropes, or iron bars; or the application of strokes or blows, or the use of other austerities. In all which things, however, it seems more expedient that the sense of pain should be in the flesh alone, and not penetrate the bones, with the danger of injury to the health.  Wherefore, we should use in preference whips made of small cords, which hurt the outward parts, and not those within, so as to injure the health.


Moreover, these four things must be noted. Concerning the hedonic asceticism just described of fostering the Will, first, that the use or effect of such external expressions is three-fold; namely, that some reparation may be made for past failings; that a person may more fully come into conversation with all parts of eirself, bringing eir sensual nature, into greater communion with eir reason.  That is to say that the practice of hedonic asceticism can be used a practice to encourage and make easier the alignment of one's three souls. Lastly, that we may seek and obtain some gift through our magick, such as an inward appreciation for and understanding of tlazolli, and an abundance of both laughter and tears, neither despite each other nor because of ech other, or the ability to sit with any doubt which afflicts us.

The second, that the first two additions suit those exercises alone which are performed in the middle of the night, and about dawn. And the fourth is never to be practised in consecrated space, or before others, but only at home and secretly.

Thirdly, that when e who is being exercised does not attain the affection sought, as grief or consolation, it is expedient every now and then to change the plan of food and sleep, and the other kinds of practice; so as that we follow one practice for three days, and for the next two or
even three days leave it off; according as by different persons different practice must be performed.

Moreover, since we often omit practices of this kind from fleshly affection or erroneous judgment, as though our natural constitution were unable to bear them without great damage to the health; and sometimes, on the other hand, exceed our capability for any given practice, trusting too much to the strength of the body; by changing, as has been said, the kinds of practice, and taking and leaving them by turns, it generally happens that Antinous Nauigator, who is greatly eperienced with this sort of orienteering, helps each to discover that which suits em best.

The fourth, that the particular examination be directed to the removal of the faults and negligences which are accustomed to creep in as respects the exercises and additions; which must be observed through the three other following weeks also.

The First Week: Additions, part the first

If he who gives the exercises shall think it expedient for the advancement of those who are being exercised, to add to these meditations others, as concerning Death and other things which, though they may be difficult to face in their inevitability, nonetheless constitute the vital elements of Life; concerning Ma'at, wyrd, and other such concepts, &c.; let him not think himself prohibited, although they be not set down here.*

As to the time of the exercises, it must be so distributed that the first may be performed at midnight; the second in the morning as soon as we are up; the third before or after one's daily practice, before we have taken food; the fourth about the hour of vespers; the fifth in the hour before supper. Which distribution of time is the same for each of the four weeks: it may however be varied, and either increased or diminished, according as the age of each, his disposition of mind or body, or the complexion of his nature itself, helps him for the performance of the said five exercises.

ADDITIONS
Which are very useful for the better performance of the exercises, and for finding the things, which are desired.

The first is, that after lying down, before sleep, I think for a short space of time, during which the three pieces in praise of the puer aeternus reprinted in Devotio Antinoo from Marie-Louise Von Franz's The Problem of the Puer Aeternus might each be said once, concerning the hour at which I shall have to rise, and concerning the exercise I have to perform.**

The second, that, when awake, immediately excluding all other thoughts, I apply my mind to that which I am about to contemplate in the first exercise, the exercise of midnight; and that, for the sake of the greater shame and confusion, I set before me an example of this kind: how some Roman citizen, bowed flat before eir patron in supplication, might seek ways in which eir duty and that of eir patron, eir fortunes and those of eir patron, might intersect and unite with each other. In like manner, in the second exercise, thinking over my estrangement from the world around me, let me imagine myself to be clothed with thick and insensate clothing, and presently about to be placed in a place of supreme carnal and tactile pleasure. Engaged, therefore, with these or other thoughts, according to the nature of the things to be meditated upon, let me put on my clothes.

The third, that, while yet separated by one or two paces from the place of my coming meditation, raising my mind for a short time, during which the Ave, Ave, Antinoe hymn might be sung, I think of Antinous Nauigator as present and seeing what I am about to do; to whom I must exhibit recognition and friendship with an humble gesture.

The fourth is, to set about the contemplation itself, now kneeling on the ground, and lying on my face or on my back; now sitting or standing; and composing myself in the way in which I may hope the more easily to attain what I desire. In which matter these two things must be attended to: the first, that if on my knees, or in any other posture, I obtain what I wish, I seek nothing further. The second, that on the point in which I shall have attained the devotion I seek, I ought to rest, without being anxious about passing on, until I shall have satisfied myself.  A practice such as yoga, taichi, or some other practice that brings bodily pose into use as religio-magickal tool maybe helpful with this.

The fifth, that, after the completion of the exercise, sitting or walking, for about a quarter of an hour, I consider with myself how my meditation or contemplation has succeeded; and if badly, examine the reasons, without judgment and with purpose of amendment; but if well, give thanks to Antinous Nauigator, intending to observe the same method for the future.

The sixth, that I throw myself fully into the tears and grief for my situation.

The seventh, that, for that reason I deprive myself of all the brightness of the light; shutting the doors and windows so long as I remain there,*** except while I have to read or take my food.

The eighth, that I direct my eyes on no one, unless the occasion of saluting or taking leave require it.

The ninth, that I take my failings as moments of amusement and of learning, that I give them movement and avoid their gaining of any quality of inertness. And this is divided into interior and exterior.







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* This paragraph is not found in the original Spanish, but is a note of the Latin interpreter's. It is certain, however, that both St. Ignatius himself, and the Fathers taught by him, were accustomed to add such meditations.
** In the first Addition, where it is said and concerning the exercise I have to perform; it would be said according to the Autograph briefly going over in my mind the points of the exercise I have to perform.
*** Instead of there, the Autograph has in my chamber.

The First Week: The Fifth Exercise

Is a contemplation concerning hell; and contains, after the preparatory prayer and two preludes, five points, and one colloquy.

The preparatory prayer does not differ from that above. The first prelude is here the forming of the place; which is to set before the eyes of the imagination the length, breadth, and depth of hell.

The second consists in asking for an intimate perception of the sufferings which hell's inhabitants undergo; that, if at any time I should be forgetful of my Will, at least the experience of Love and compassion may compel me to Knowledge and Conversation with my Holy Guardian Angel.

The first point is, to see by the imagination the vast fires of hell, and the souls inclosed in certain fiery bodies, as it were in dungeons.*

The second, to hear in imagination the lamentations, the howlings, the exclamations, and the hatreds against the immanent divinity of the world and any of its inhabitants gross or subtle, thence breaking forth.

The third, to perceive by the smell also of the imagination, the smoke, the brimstone, and the stench of a kind of tlazolli or filth, and of putrefaction.

The fourth, to taste in like manner those most bitter things, as the stagnation, the rottenness, and the worm we call guilt.

The fifth, to touch in a manner those fires by the touch of which the souls themselves are burnt.

Meanwhile, making a colloquy with Melek Ta'us, their souls must be brought before the mind who have made their homes among the pains of hell, either because they would not see their place as cell in and among the interdependent world, or, although they did see, yet did not live according to their Will and in Knowledge and Concersation with their Holy Guardian Angel.  Lastly, the greatest joy must be given to the same Peacock Lord, that he cried 7000 years into the fullness of each baḳbûḳ aṣfar among his 7 and, having filled them, poured them upon the flames of hell, extinguishing them for all time.  An end will be made by saying the hymn to the Blue God found on Storm Faerywolf's online shrine to Melek Ta'us.






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* In the first point and the souls inclosed in certain fiery bodies, as it were in dungeons; it should be said and the souls inclosed as it were in certain fiery bodies, as it were in dungeons.

The First Week: The Fourth Exercise

Consists of the repetition of the third.

Such a repetition is laid down, as a kind of rumination on those things on which I meditated in the former exercises; that, by calling them to mind in continued succession, the understanding may the more easily go over the ground without turning aside. The same three colloquies will have also to be added.

The First Week: The Third Exercise

Will be only a repetition of the first and second, together with three colloquies.

After the preparatory prayer and two preludes, must be repeated the preceding two exercises, marking the points or places in which we felt a greater consolation, desolation, or spiritual affection of any other kind; and upon these we must remain longer and more diligently. Then, spiritual movement occurring to us, we shall come to the three colloquies which follow.

The first colloquy is made to our Lady, Tlazolteotl, by asking her cooperation with Antinous Nauigator, and the gaining of vision necessary to us for three things: first, that we may feel the inward knowledge of and disgust at our tlazolli; secondly, that, acknowledging the stagnating order of our actions and inactions, we may discard or make use of our tlazolli as necessary, and allow the situation and the entire world to flow freely; thirdly, that, perceiving the various uses and traps of our tlazolli, we may recover ourselves from illusions of inherent good or evil. These things having been finished, let {a hymn to Tlazolteotl and/or Sterculina that I have not found or written yet} be said once, bookended by the Opening and Closing of the Pantheon.

Let the second colloquy be made in a like manner to Antinous Nauigator, that he would obtain for us those same things.  At the end will be added the hymn for the Festival of the Stella Antinoi Antinousque Nauigator.

The third is to be made, going on in the same order, to Hermaphroditos, that e would grant us this three-fold sight and a fourth as well, the union which creates something new; and at the end the Hymn to Hermaphroditos is to be said once.

The First Week: The Second Exercise

Is a meditation concerning estrangement; comprehending, after the preparatory prayer and two preludes, five articles or points, with a colloquy at the end.

The preparatory prayer is the same as above.

The first prelude requires the same construction of the place as in the preceding meditation.

And the latter will be made by asking what we here seek; that is to say, intense grief concerning estrangement and alienation, with abundant weeping.

Let the first point be, a certain inquest by which all the ways in which one has felt alienated or estranged from the world and all the ways in one's whole life by which one has reinforced that state are recalled into the memory, the person going through, step by step, and examining the several years and spaces of time. In which thing we are assisted by a threefold summing up, by considering, that is to say, the places where we have lived, the various modes of intercourse we have had with others, and the different kinds of offices or occupations in which we have been engaged.

The second is, to weigh the alienation and estrangement themselves, how great is the pain and how damaging the effects of it.

The third is, to consider myself, who or of what kind I am, adding comparisons which may bring me closer to the world; as if I reflect how little I am when compared with all humanity; then what the whole multitude of mortals is, as compared with all beings everywhere, pervading space and time: after these things I must consider what, in fact, this world is in comparison with the vastness and variety of all the worlds floating serenely through the obsidian mirror of outer space: what, now, can I, one mere human being, be? Lastly, let me look at the damaging nature of my relations, the tightened hardness of my soul, and the pollution of my body and the world.

The fourth is, to consider what the world is, which I have thus refused and rejected, collecting the glories and beauties which are ever-present around me (reminding myself, with Tlazolteotl's name, that they are more ever-present than I tend to recognize, and working to correct that unfortunate habit) and comparing them with my beauties and glories (invoking Hermaphroditos's name for the same reminder); also to see how the world comports itself and asking Antinous Nauigator to help me find the same paths in my own life.

The fifth, to break forth into exclamation, from a vehement commotion of the feelings, admiring greatly how all creatures (going over them severally) have borne with me so long, and even to this time preserved me alive; how the angels and the spirits and the gods, bearing their magicks and their knowledges, have patiently borne with me, guarded me, and even assisted me with their prayers; how the ancestors have aided me; how the sky, the sun, the moon, and the other heavenly bodies, the elements, and all kinds of animals and productions of the earth, in place of the vengeance due, have helped me; how, lastly, the ecosphere and its immune system have yet to wipe me from the earth's face.

Lastly, this meditation must be concluded by a colloquy, in which I extol the infinite wisdom, planning, and sight of Antinous Nauigator, and in which I give thanks to the best of my power (again, to whatever god or force I might care to thank or to none at all) that I live up to this day; whence proposing for the future the amendment of myself, I shall intone once again the Antinoan Coming Forth by Day.

The First Week: The First Exercise, part the second and final

The third is, that we exercise ourselves in like manner concerning any particular failing of the Will (we shall call this the third failing, in order to distinguish it from the two above mentioned), considering that by such a failing, even but once committed, many perhaps have lost sense of their agency and thusly could not bring themselves to accomplish thy Will; and that besides, an almost countless number, for failings fewer and lighter than mine, are perhaps punishing themselves with anguish and ineffectuality. Whence it must be turned over in the memory, how great is the importance of knowing and accomplishing one's Will and how great is the loss when we fail to do so, which weakens our magicks and deafens us to the gods and spirits.  Lastly, the affections are to be stirred up, as has already been said.

The colloquy will be made by imagining Antinous Nauigator to be present before me, standing upon the prow of the Barge of Millions of Years, which is also the Royal Barge travelling up the river Neilos. Let me, therefore, inquire with myself the reason what, if I had been he, the Beautiful Bithynian Boy, upon that ship, might have appeared to my mind and my understanding.  What route might I have seen from drought to inundation?  What hazards and what aids might I predict?  Would I expect to meet Sobek or Hapy?  Would I have considered myself a possible sacrifice?  Would I feel a flash of fear, as my foot slipped and my body fell, or nothing but a solid duty as I jumped?  Let me also call myself to account, inquiring what worthy of mention I have hitherto done for my community, what I am doing now; or ought to do. And, looking upon him thus standing at the prow of the Barge of Millions of Years, which is also the Royal Barge travelling up the river Neilos, let me give utterance to such things as my mind and affection shall suggest.

Moreover, it is the property of the colloquy to be made similarly to the language of a friend to a friend, or of a child to a respected and colloquial elder; now by asking some favour, now by accusing myself of some fault; sometimes by communicating my own affairs of any kind, and asking counsel or help concerning them. Last of all, let the Antinoan Coming Forth By Day be intoned.

The First Week: The First Exercise, part the first

Of meditating according to the three powers of the mind concerning three ways in which we fail to accomplish our Will; containing a preparatory prayer, two preludes, and three leading points, with one colloquy.

The preparatory prayer is that whereby we ask assistance of Antinous Nauigator, that all our powers and operations may tend sincerely to our perfection and the accomplishment of our Will.

The first prelude is a certain way of constructing the place [or scene]; for which it must be noted, that in every meditation or contemplation about a gross thing, as for example about Antinous, we must form, according to a certain imaginary vision, a gross place representing what we contemplate; as the temple, or a mountain, in which we may find Antinous Soter, or Diuus Hadrianus Caesar, and the other things which concern the subject of our contemplation.

But if the subject of meditation be a subtle thing, as is the consideration of the Will now offered, the construction of the place may be such as if by imagination we see our Selves alone and separated from this holy world, as confined in a prison of alienation; and humanity itself, in this sundered state, an exile among brute animals.  In this way we can resist our submersion in this estranged context and take our place among the interdependent ecology of the world.

The second prelude will be to ask of Antinous Nauigator that we navigate each proposed contemplation by its proper and earnestly desired route: for example, if I am to meditate concerning the new inundation of the river Neilos after Antinous Soter's deification, I must ask for joy wherewith I may rejoice together with all the Empire rejoicing: but if concerning his drowning, let me ask tears, pains, and anguish, in order that I may suffer together with Diuus Hadrianus Caesar suffering. In the present meditation, therefore, I ought to ask for my own reflection (as in the flowing surface of the river Neilos) and liberation and resolve to change, considering how many human beings have become mired in self-indulgent guilt on account of even one single failing of the Will, and that I have so often chained myself with the same chains.

It must be noted further, that every meditation or contemplation must be preceded by both the preparatory prayer and the two preludes; but the prayer is always made in the same manner, whereas the preludes are different according to the difference of the subjects.

The first point will be to exercise my memory concerning the first error of all, which was that committed by those of us who first built cities, applying immediately the reasoning power of the understanding, and the motion of the Will, stirring me up to consider and understand those things which I may reflect upon and liberate myself from, comparing their intent and their reasons with so many of mine: whence I may gather, since their actions having succeeded in their intents have thwarted their Will and violated their understanding of the world as it has affected us their descendants, how often I myself have thwarted my Will by means of my intent by not uniting cause and effect in a single consideration of a single action. We say therefore, that one must draw into the memory, how people lived in the beginning (and live now in the beginning) understanding themselves rightly to be a cell in an interdependent world (a state we call grace), but not being willing by the liberty of the Will (which is called the proprium and is necessary for the consummation of blessedness) either to pay the price the world charged for their life in uncertainty and in hard travel or to flow according to the dictates of the world's flow, but built cities to be able to store abundance and improve nutrition and allow the development of individual souls.  These cities, however, placed nature outside their boundaries and, by thus fostering the attitude that we were in the world but not of it, caused our ancestors to grow proud against the world, and they were turned from grace to hubris, and from Paradise the world was made Enemy or was made Resource and noone can say which is worse. Accordingly we must examine, by the office of the understanding, more accurately concerning these things, and at the same time strive more earnestly to excite the affections of the Will.

The second point is, to exercise the same three powers concerning the failing of the next generation of our ancestors, which we shall call the second, going over by the memory, how long we as a race have been suffering because of it; how greatly we continue and perpetuate it through our own words and deeds; how many thousands of human beings have failed to accomplish their Will because of it. We must remember, that is to say, how Adam, the right half of the original being made of the clay of the earth in the plain of Damascus, and Eve, the left half of that being, and living in a terrestrial Paradise, free-willed and wild, when they had eaten of the fruit of the tree of their god's knowledge of good and evil, and had allowed that god and his priests and anointed kings to make meaning for them; after their submission, the great and wonderful earth immediately became no longer Paradise for them; and being clothed in clothing they were told was not fashionable, and deprived of their original wildness, dragged out the remainder of their life in servitude, in the greatest labours and miseries. Concerning these things also we must use the reasoning of the intellect and the affections of the will, as before.