The Second Week: The Twelfth Day

Concerning the embarcation of the Royal Barge up the River Neilos.

The above-mentioned mysteries see below, see the Life of Antinous.

The Second Week: The Eleventh Day

Concerning the Lion Hunt.

The Second Week: The Tenth Day

Concerning the drought Egypt and thus the whole of the Empire faced upon the River Neilos's refusal to inundate and fertilize the rich black soil of Egypt.

The Second Week: The Ninth Day

Concerning the Imperial Court's time in Jerusalem and interactions with the rabbis there.

The Second Week: The Eighth Day

Concerning the continuation of the Royal Court's journey through the East, including visits to Antioch, Armenia, and Arabia.

The Second Week: The Seventh Day

Concerning the blessed Imperial Court who traveled with Antinous Hadrianusque Amatores, including among them Diua Sabina, Iulia Balbilla, and many other beati diuique sanctique.

The Second Week: The Sixth Day

Then is offered for contemplation, how from Athens Antinous Hadrianusque went to Bithynia where Antinous had been born and where he had grown and there stayed for a time; the plan of the Fifth Day being preserved throughout.

The Second Week: The Fifth Day

Will follow a contemplation concerning Antinous's life from the time of his meeting Diuus Hadrianus Caesar up until he took the Lesser Mysteries at Eleusis, and concerning that initiation, as below in the the Life of Antinous.

It will take place as well at midnight as the first thing in the morning. It will, moreover, be repeated twice about the hours of noon and Vespers. Before supper, the five senses will be applied. And each of these five Exercises will be preceded by the preparatory prayer with the three preludes, as has been explained in those above, concerning all the mup gods; adding also the three colloquies, as concerning the Classes, or according to what was there noted at the end.

And the usual particular examination after dinner and supper, will be made on this and the following days concerning the faults and negligences which have happened with respect to the particular Meditations and Additions of that day.

The Second Week: A Meditation, part the second and final

The second is an imaginary construction of a certain place, in which I may see myself standing in my power as the Beast with Flowered Horns before all the saints of my name, all my tzaddikim shel haShem, with the desire of knowing how I may more effetively enact my Will and more fully become an active, intentful, and mindful presence and participation in the delineation of that region known as my Self in which all those things (known in their collection as the atman) which contribute to its emergence lie.

The third is to ask the thing I desire, namely, guidance in choosing that which will be both most fully on the crossroads between the Lands of Or, Just, and And, and also most conducive to enacting my own Will.

The first Class, then, desire indeed to get rid of the attachment to the property they have acquired or to the property they lack, in order that they may be free to discover how they might act both with and without that property as the situation demands to enact their Will; but do not apply the means and due helps *during the whole time of life.

The second desire, in like manner, to put away the inordinate affection, but at the same time to hold fast the property, and rather define their Will by the confines and limits of their possessions, than look at the fullness of their atman and enact their Will by means of a more conducive state, that of flow and creativity and the leveraging of all one's resources.

Lastly, the third, while they desire to cast away the worldly affection, are also equally prepared either to part with or to keep the property itself; whichever they shall perceive, either by the Divine motion, or by the dictates of reason, to be more conducive to the enactment of their Will; **and in the meantime, leaving all as it is, turn over and examine that question only, and admit no other cause of leaving or retaining the property acquired, except the consideration and desire of their power-within, that that power may be the greatest possible.

Three colloquies will follow, as they were made a little above concerning the Standards.

It must be observed here, that when we perceive that the attachment is opposed to the perfect of liberty, which consists both in the making of meaning, and in the viewing of the existence rather than the essence of one's atman, and that it inclines rather to the submission of one's own reflexive meaning to that imposed first on the things one owns and extending from there unto oneself; it is very profitable, in order to the striking out of such attachment, to ask of Antinous Nauigator, even though the habit resist, that he would guide us to the nauseous wild desert outside Antinoopolis where neither thing nor definition can survive: ***we shall preserve, however, in the meantime, the liberty of our desire, whereby the way which is the more suitable to the enactment of our Will might already be clear to us in our self-possession.







---------
* In the first Class, during the whole time of life: from the Autograph up to the hour of death.
** In the third, and in the meantime, leaving all as it is, &c. to the end, we may render more clearly from the Autograph as follows: and, in the meantime, to bear themselves as they who have left all in attachment; striving, that is to say, to act with only the barest of necessary differences whether they are with property or without, except so far as the enactment of their Will may move them; so as not to admit any other cause of leaving or retaining the property acquired, except the consideration and desire of enacting [literally of being able to enact] their Will better.
*** In the observation we shall preserve, however, in the meantime, &c. to the end, it stands in the Autograph as follows: and this particular thing to desire, ask, and intreat, regarding only the enacting of our own Will and our own homotheosis.

The Second Week: A Meditation, part the first

To be made the same Fourth Day, concerning three Classes* or differences of men, that we may
choose the better part.

The preparatory prayer as in all former cases.

Let the first prelude be made by setting before us, to serve as the history, three distinct Classes of men, each of which has acquired ten thousand ducats with some other aim than that of the service and love of the holy world in which they live; but now desires to rectify their inaction and their drain, getting rid somehow or other of **the hurtful love of property, and replace it with a proper love of property that strikes not against Ma'at.





----------
* In the original, here and everywhere, <i>Pairs</i>
** In the meditation of the fourth day, concerning three classes of men, in the end of the first prelude, for <i>the hurtful love of property</i>, should be read <i>the hurtful love of the property acquired</i>.

The Second Week: The Fourth Day, part the second and final

Again, another plain in the country of San Francisco, where Eris presents herself as the captain of the free and civilization's enemies (who destroy the city by loving it).

The third, for asking grace, will be this, that we ask to explore and see thoroughly the games of the anarchist captain, invoking at the same time the divine help of Antinous Nauigator in order to incorporate them, for perfection requires that the Sacred Chao maintain and the city contain the wild and the wild contain the city; and to know, and by grace be able to imitate, the way in its fullness as guided by the true and most excellent Nauigator Liberatorque, Antinous.

The first point is, to imagine before my eyes, in the San Franciscan plain, the captain of the free, sitting in a chair of plastic and potsmoke, fabulous in figure, and terrible in countenance.

The second, to consider how, having attracted a countless number of saints and popes, she suggests that they prance through the whole world in order to do mischief; no cities or places, no kinds of persons, being left unpranked.

The third, to consider what kind of address she makes to those who happen to agree with her, whom she casually recommends seize, and secure in jokes and paperchains, and so draw people (as commonly happens) to the desire of laughs, whence afterwards they may the more easily betake themselves into the ambition of worldly wildness, and thence into the abyss of understanding.

Thus, then, there are three chief degrees of freedom, founded in laughs, wildness, and understanding; from which three to all other kinds of liberties the course is headlong.

In like manner, on the corresponding side (for all illusions must include a complement and sometimes an opposite), must be considered the most beautiful and excellent Nauigator Liberatorque, Antinous.

The first point will be, to see Antinous in a pleasant plain by Antinoopolis; placed, indeed very beautiful in form, and in appearance supremely worthy of love.

The second is, to consider how he, eromenos of the whole world, Nauigator, leads those upon the Barge of Millions and Millions of Years through the world, to beautify every race, state, and condition of men.

The third, to hear the relevatory speech of Antinous Nauigator to all his initiates and friends destined to such a trip, wherein he describes a route of studying to help all, and leads them on the first leg of the journey to the spiritual affection of civic duty; and moreover (if the course taken by the Barge of Millions and Millions of Years leads that way) to real action; then to draw the route to the desire of being beautiful oneself, whence comes virtue.

And thus there arise three degrees of perfection; namely, civic duty, real action towards the realization of an ideal society, and beautiful virtue; which are intimately intertwined (as in the Sacred Chao) with their fellow illusions laughs, wildness, and understanding.

A colloquy is afterwards to be made to Diuus Hadrianus Caesar, and guidance is to be asked through him from his eromenos, that I may sail upon the Barge of Millions and Millions of Years according to the route set forth by Antinous Nauigator; and that, first by civic duty and accordant real action towards the building of Antinoopolis; then by beautiful virtue also, I may follow the route he has navigated the more closely, praying however against others being in fault, lest my work turn both to the damage of some other.  This first colloquy will be terminated by Antinoan Petition.

The second colloquy is directed to Antinous Liberator Amatorque, that he would join these two in me, this Eris and this Antinous; and the prayer Aretalogia Antinoi will be added at the end.

The third to the Beast with Flowered Horns, that in that joining, in that resolution of paradoxes, I may might move towards becoming em, with Gaudete Invictus Natus.

This Exercise will be gone through once in the middle of the night, and again just before dawn.  And two repetitions, about the time of the morning practice and of Vespers, will have to be made, adding at the end the three colloquies. And the following Exercise will be made before supper.

The Second Week: The Fourth Day, part the first

Will be made a meditation concerning *Two Standards: one that of Antinous, the Beautiful Bithynian Boy; the other that of Eris, who oft seems the most capital enemy of humanity and who can at times be but who at other times can tell the most awesome practical jokes.

The preparatory prayer is made according to custom.

The first prelude will be a certain historical consideration of Antinous on the one part, and Eris on the other, each of whom is teaching all humanity in eir own way, that they might gather together freely and as they wish, without restriction of personal liberty.

The second is, for the construction of the place, that there be represented to us a most extensive delta and reed-marsh of the River Neilos around Antinoopolis, in which Antinous Pulcher stands as our eromenos.



--------
[* So the Spanish original, without the article.]

The Second Week: A Certain Prelude Concerning the Consideration of the Different States or Kinds of Life

*The example of Antinous having been above set before us concerning that kind of life which consists in recognizing the beauty of the world and our being part of that beautiful world and thus also being part of its beauty, and is called the first or kalokagathic state; now the same Liberator, while we are told of his taking of the Lesser Mysteries at Eleusis, appears to exhibit the form of the homotheotic or second state, which springs from taking an active role in the function of that world, and brings one perfection; when, that is to say, Hadrianus betook him to Eleusis that he might attend freely to his dharma. Wherefore it will be fitting here that we also, contemplating his life, should search out and intreat his guidance toward that peculiar kind of life, in which we might participate in our own majesty and, in doing so, the world's as well.

To the searching out, then, of this, we may be introduced by the next following Exercise, attending to the mind of Antinous, compared with that of Eris. We shall also learn thence, of what disposition we have need, that we may become perfect in that state, whatever it may be, which Ma'at shall have suggested to us for choice.





----------
* In the prelude after the contemplation of the third day, what is there said concerning the distinction of the two states will be put more clearly from the Autograph as follows: "The example of Antinous having been above set before us concerning that kind of life which consists in recognizing the beauty of the world and our being part of that beautiful world and thus also being part of its beauty, while we are told of his taking of the Lesser Mysteries at Eleusis, and is called the first or kalokagathic state; now the same Liberator himself appears to exhibit the form of the homotheotic or second state, which brings one perfection; when, that is to say, Hadrianus betook him to Eleusis" &c.

The Second Week: The Third Day

The subject for meditation will be, the Eleusinian Mysteries undertaken by Antinous: then how Hadrianus Caesar undertook the Greater Mysteries there at the same time as his eromenos underttok the Lesser, as below, in the Life of Antinous Nauigator. There will be made also two repetitions, together with the application of the senses.

The Second Week: On the Second Day

The subject of the first and second contemplations will be the Boar Hunt of Hadrianus Caesar Antinousque, concerning which below; *and the Royal Tour up the River Neilos, concerning which also below in the Life of Antinous Nauigator. Concerning these two contemplations there will be made a double repetition, and the application of the senses, as above.

It must be noted, that it is sometimes expedient, that he who is being exercised, although he be endued both with vigour of mind and strength of body, should diminish something from the prescribed exercises of **this second and the two following weeks; in order that he may be the better able to attain what he desires; taking only one contemplation in the morning twilight, and another about the time of noon; the repetition of which two let him make at the hour of Vespers; and before supper exercise the five senses of the imagination concerning the same.




------
* In the second day, and the Flight into Egypt, is added according to the Autograph and the Flight of The Same going into exile, as it were, into Egypt.
** The Spanish original speaks only of the second, third, and fourth days of the second week.

The Second Week: The Fifth Contemplation, part the second and final

The ten Additions then must be used circumspectly.

The fifth and last thing to be noted is, that in all the exercises of the other hours, except those of midnight and dawn, there must be taken something which may be equivalent to the second *and third Addition, after this manner: as soon as I shall remember, that the hour of meditation is at hand, before coming to it, I shall consider from a distance, whither I am going, and before Whom I am about to appear, and running in a passing way over a part of the exercise presented to me, commence the contemplation at once.





--------
[* The words and third have found their way by mistake into the Common Version.]

The Second Week: The Fifth Contemplation, part the first

Is the application of the senses to those mentioned above.

After the preparatory prayer, with the three already mentioned preludes, it is eminently useful to exercise the five imaginary senses concerning the first and second contemplations in the following way, according as the subject shall bear.

The first point will be, to see in imagination all the persons, and, noting the circumstances which shall occur concerning them, to draw out what may be profitable to ourselves.

The second, by hearing as it were what they are saying, or what it may be natural for them to say, to turn all to our own advantage.

The third, to perceive by a certain inward taste and smell, how great is the sweetness and *delightfulness of the soul imbued with the divine gifts and virtues of love, according to the nature of the person we are considering, adapting to ourselves those things which may bring us some fruit.

The fourth, by an inward touch to handle and kiss the garments, places, foot-steps, and other things connected with such persons; whence we may derive a greater increase of devotion, or of any spiritual good.

This contemplation will be terminated, like the First Contemplation, by adding in like manner the Obelisk text.

These five things must moreover be noted. The first, that as well in this as in each following week, I ought take the greatest of care in reading or thinking of any other mystery than that which is to be considered the same hour or day; as otherwise one can disturb another.

The second, that the first exercise concerning all the mup gods is performed at midnight; the next at dawn; the third about the hour of noon; the fourth about the time of Vespers; the fifth a little before supper; and on each of them will be spent the space of one hour; which same thing has to be observed henceforward everywhere.

The third, that if he who is being exercised is old, or exhausted in strength by the first week, it is sometimes better that he should not rise in the night, but only perform [the first] three contemplations; at dawn, about the time of noon, before dinner; adding besides one repetition
about the time of Vespers, **and the application of the senses before supper.

The fourth, that in this second week, the second, sixth, and seventh, with part of the tenth, of the Additions given in the first week, ought to be varied.

In the second, this change is made, that as soon as I am awaked from sleep, I ought to set before my mind the meditation immediately at hand, and to stir up the desire of knowing more clearly the mysteries of which I  myself am a part, that I may work that mystery and walk in the fullness of all my initiations by so much the more earnestly, by how much the more incredible I shall have seen the glory and the beauty of the world.

In the sixth, to turn frequently over in my memory the life of Antinous from the time of his meeting Diuus Hadrianus Caesar up to the place or mystery concerning which I am about to meditate in the present day or hour.

In the seventh, that I so far take pleasure in light or darkness, clear sky or cloudy, as it serves towards reaching the mark of the thing desired.

In the tenth, that I so govern myself as the nature of the mystery to be contemplated seems to require; as some of the mysteries demand pleasure or feasting or raucous excitation, others pain or fasting or calm inhibition.






-------
* In the fifth contemplation, in the third point, <i>delightfulness of the soul imbued</i> &c., should be read <i>delightfulness of the divinity of the soul, and of its virtues; and of all the other things, according to the nature</i> &c.
** In the five Notanda. In the third, <i>and the application of the senses before supper,</i>, read from the Autograph <i>and afterwards the application of the senses before supper</i>.

The Second Week: The Fourth Contemplation

Is a renewed repetition of the first and second, altogether conformable to the last preceding.

The Second Week: The Third Contemplation

Is the repetition of the preceding two.

For the third exercise or contemplation, are repeated the preceding two, with the preparatory prayer, and the same three preludes, marking everywhere and studying more fixedly those parts in the former going over of which I received any light, consolation, or desolation. The colloquy, too, with the ritual drama of Hadrian and Antinous, will be added as in the Second Contemplation.

It must be noted, that the manner and order of repeating the Exercise in this week and the following is the same as it was in the first; except that the matter is changed, the same form remaining.

The Second Week: The Second Contemplation

The Second Contemplation,

Concerning the meeting of Hadrianus Caesar et Antinous Amator.

The preparatory prayer as above.

The first prelude is furnished by the history, which must be gone over from the going out of the imperator Diuus Hadrianus Caesar into the world he ruled from the great city of Roma; how, that is to say, being now in the seventh or eighth year of his imperial reign, and sitting on a fine steed (as one may piously meditate), he and his court set out for Anatolia by means of Bithynia, that they might build up the cities they saw there and, through improved infrastructure rather than through conquest or invasion, grow their empire.

The second is to be drawn from the consideration of the journey, by forming an idea of its length, obliquity, smoothness or roughness, presenting itself from place to place. Then, also, we shall examine the place of the meeting, perhaps Claudiopolis; whether the streets were broad or narrow, the ground lying flat or rising up, its accommodations conveniently or inconveniently prepared.

The third will not be at all changed from that of the preceding meditation.

The first point is the sight of the persons, as of the Diuus Imperator, and his wife Uibia Sabina Sebaste Augusta, with the poet Iulia Balbilla and with all their court, and of Antinous Amator as young boy: amongst whom let me imagine myself to be present, looking at them, contemplating them, and ministering to their necessities in such way as I might, with the greatest reverence. And then let me consider what profit may accrue to me from such a sight.

The second consists of the fruitful apprehension of the words which are being spoken in the same place.

The third, of the inspection of the things which are being done there, as of the journey, the labours, and the causes on account of which these two lovers met; about to enjoy also, together, many travels and hunts and spiritual mysteries and feasts and performances; and about to drown at last in the River Neilos, which soon thereafter inundated as it never has, neither before nor since; whence I shall study by each to gather some spiritual profit.

These things will be concluded by beginning the colloquy, and finishing it with the ritual drama by P. Sufenas Uirius Lupus doctor Antinoi entitled Hadrian and Antinous.

The Second Week: The First Meditation of the First Day, part the second and final

The first point is, that I view all the persons concerned; and first, the human beings living on the face of the earth, so different in manners, gestures, and actions; some white, and others black, and others of a vast panoply of colors; some enjoying peace, and the rest disturbed by wars; this one weeping, and that one laughing (and one of my names being et alia laughing and weeping); one well, another ill, many being born, and many, on the other hand, dying; with other varieties almost innumerable.

Next must be contemplated Antinous Nauigator, Tawûsê Melek, and Tlazolteotl, from the prow of the Barge of Millions and Millions of Years, looking upon all the races of humanity, living blind to the beautiful and sacred earth on whose surface they live, and making of it a Hell, though one whose fires Tawûsê Melek has extinguished with his tears.

Afterwards, we shall consider Inanna with Antinous Liberator saluting her; always applying something thence to ourselves, that from such consideration we may derive some fruit.

The second point is, to perceive by the inward hearing what all these deities are saying, as what the humans are saying, who on earth are conversing together, joyfully and sacredly blaspheming, reviling each other; what the deities are saying, who, are speaking to each other concerning all these things and their holinesses both separate and contextual; what Inanna and Antinous Liberator are saying, who; at the reed-marsh delta of a river, are conversing on the Neos Antinoopolis. By reflecting on all which things, or making some application of them to myself, I shall study to gather some fruit from each.

The third, following naturally, will be, to consider at the same time the actions also of the persons; as, for instance, how mortal men are treating one another with enmity and violence, killing one another, and all building a flameless Hell; how the Beast with Flowered Horns is performing eir Work in the world, how the Beast with Flowered Horns is enacting eir Will; how, also, Antinous Liberator is earning that title, and Inanna, bearing herself most regally, is wielding the holy measuring rod and line and marrying the shepherd.  From which things, applied by reflection, as has been said, to ourselves, we must gather fruit as we go on.

Lastly, I shall add a colloquy, searching out studiously words with which I may be able worthily to address each of the mup deities, whether considered in this practice or not; asking also, according to the affection I shall feel in myself, whatever may help in the enactment of my Will.  In the end will be intoned the Obelisk text.

The Second Week: The First Meditation of the First Day

will be concerning the life of Antinous Nauigator; containing a preparatory prayer, three preludes, and three points, with one colloquy.

The preparatory prayer differs nothing from the preceding ones.

The first prelude is, to bring forward the history of the matter to be contemplated; which will here be, how Diuus Hadrianus Caesar looking upon the whole of his empire filled with men, came upon the Beautiful Bithynian Boy and upon this meeting was struck with love; whence, through many travels and hunts Antinous Soter found himself at the right place and the right time to bring about the river Neilos's inundation whether willingly or no, as will be said below in the Mysteries of the Life of Antinous.

The second relates to the composition of the place, which will be an imaginary vision, as if the whole circuit of the earth, inhabited by so many different nations, lay open before the eyes. Then in one particular part of the world, let the handsome body and visage of Antinous, situated in the province of Bithynia, be beheld.

The third contains the asking of aid, that I may know intimately Antinous Nauigator et Hadrianus Caesar's relationship and experiences as they traveled the known world, that I may love him the more ardently as Hadrianus Caesar did, and henceforth in relationship with him find my path through life the more carefully.

It must be noted here, that as well the preparatory prayer as the three preludes are made in like manner through the whole week, and the following weeks which remain; the preludes only being varied [in form] according to the difference of the subjects.

The Second Week, part the second and final

E must also persevere in the same labours, watchings, and other difficulties with me, that each may partake of the victory and felicity in proportion as e shall have been a companion of the labours and troubles."

The third is, to consider what the pious citizens of Neos Antinoopolis ought to answer this third of the Five Great Emperors, and how promptly to offer themselves prepared to aid in his appointed task.

The second part of this exercise, consists in considering the relationship between the said emperor and Antinous Amator, concerning these three points:

First, we shall thus apply the example: if that handsome imperator, with his monumental calling forth, holy measuring rod in hand, is worthy to receive attention and an open ear, how much more worthy is Antinous Amator Liberatorque Soterque, the Lover and the Liberator, and conspicuous to the whole world, Who invites himself to his power in these words: "The obelisk my handsome Hadrianus raised for me says of me: 'He goes out of his places to numerous temples in the whole country, and he hears the pleas of he who calls upon him; he heals the diseases of the needy ones by sending a dream.  Once he has accomplished his works among the living, he takes on every shape of his heart, because the semen of god is truly in his body.' Whoever then desires to come thither with me, e must needs labour with me; for the reward will be according to the labour."

The second, we shall reason, that there will be no one of a sound mind, who will not most eagerly offer and dedicate himself entire to the construction of Neos Antinoopolis and the establishment of Nova Pax Romana.

Thirdly, it must be judged, that they who shall think good to be altogether devoted to this task he has set himself, will offer, not merely themselves for the endurance of labours, but also some greater and more illustrious offerings, bringing to bear as their aides and workers the rebellion of the flesh, of the senses, and of the love of self and the world, in short, all of their tzaddikim shel haShem; whence each will answer to the following effect:

"Behold, Lord of Crowns and Lord of Welfare, I, most worthy, offer myself altogether to the task you have set yourself, and bring to this task all that is mine; testifying before you, as also in the sight of your beautiful beloved, and of all the Divi Sanctique, that this is my mind, this my desire, this my most certain determination, that (so it turn to the greater advancement and liberation of all beings everywhere pervading space and time) I may help you as powerfully as possible, and imitate you in bearing all that occurs with gravitas, pietas, auctoritas, and every virtue of the grat city of Roma."

This exercise will be performed twice in the day; in the morning as soon as we are up, and in the hour preceding dinner or supper.

In this second and the following weeks, it will be useful to read something every now and then from the ancients, or some other book which could aid one's understanding, as Lambert's "Beloved and God"; and Yourcenar's "Memoirs of Hadrian"; and anything by P. Sufenas Virius Lupus doctor Antinoi, &c.

Upcoming non-textual posts!

Just thought I'd put up a list of topics that I'd like to go into further detail about in the future that help explain where I'm coming from as I adapt the text.  This way, if there's something one of ya'll would like to discuss or see me rap on, you can mention that, and I can prioritize that post.

1. mup
2. Queering the Self: True Will and the Proprium
3. Estrangement
4. Anarcho-primitivism
5. Hell
6. mup Pantheon
7. Tlazolli
8. The Law
9. Antinomianism
10. Lovingkindness
11. Pietas

Queering the Self: True Will and the Proprium

OK, I'm giving this the first pass label, because I remember being able to describe this model much more clearly and intelligibly.  Please and especially, I invite comments on this post and questions on this model, so I can post something that's much clearer and more accessible!
---------------

What follows is my model and understanding of both identity/Self and True Will.  It also functions as a bit of a project outline concerning the general thrust of mup magick, as a way of understanding what the holy hell I'm trying to achieve here.

There is a spectrum of identity and divinity.  Well, actually, when I say "spectrum", I believe many people instinctively envision something very like a line, with two poles on either end and only a single dimension.  In fact, it's more like the 10, 11, or 26 dimensions of superstring theory or brane theory (tee-hee!).  For ease of conceptualization, however, let's discuss it for the moment as if it were a Cartesian plane:

This spectrum of identity and divinity is, as was tee-heely referenced earlier, a space (this is not the extent of the purpose of that tee-hee, either).  Within that space are stuff (which lack individuation) and possibly also things (which possess individuation).  We can call this collection of stuff and possibly also things the brahman.  When the brahman enters a particular region, it almost certainly gains individuation, becoming things.  This region, which is itself called the Self, is defined by something called the proprium.  To discuss all this abstraction as the slightly more concrete Cartesian plane, the proprium is something along the lines of the statement, "Everything within 3 units of point (2, 4) is within the Self."  Note well that in this model, the Self is simply a region; it is not inherently possessed of any qualities.

Once the brahman enters this region, it changes into what might be called the atman.  This atman, dancing, clashing, or otherwise interacting with itself, creates an emergent behavior which is the True Will.  Yes, this means that you are always and by definition doing your True Will and that said True Will is modifiable.  The True Will is what, in turn, defines the proprium (think of a function which modifies itself).

This, then, is the point of much mup magick and spiritual practice, reworded several ways:

1. to become involved with the True Will's delineation of the proprium;
2. to foster an active, mindful, and intentful presence and participation in the experiencing of things;
3. to become what you already are: the Beast with Flowered Horns.

The Second Week, part the first

A contemplation of the life and experiences of Antinous, from the likeness of Hadrianus Caesar telling his subjects of the Beautiful Bithynian Boy's deification.

The preparatory prayer will be made in the way mentioned above.

The first prelude for the construction of the place will now be, to imagine that we see Antinoopolis along the river Neilos, the Obelisk of Antinous at its center, and a road proceeding from the Obelisk out through the city gates.  Along the road once it has passed outside the city, we will see the temples, villages, and towns, through which Antinous passed in companionship with Diuus Hadrianus Caesar; and so concerning other places.  This road, outside the city, is where this week's work shall take place.

The second, relating to the obtaining of divine aid, will here be, to ask of our Holy Guardian Angel that we may not be deaf when Antinous Nauigator calls us; but be ready to follow and respond.

Let the first point be, to place before my eyes Hadrianus Caesar, deified imperator, lover of Antinous, patron to all citizens and clients of Neos Antinoopolis.

The second, to imagine that I hear Diuus Hadrianus Caesar speaking to all his subjects: "I propose to extend the Pax Romana and all the great city's abundance to all the countries of the world. Whosoever, therefore, chooses to follow me, let em be prepared to use no other food, clothing, or other things, than what e sees me use.

The First Week: Additions, part the second and final

The interior is, my relationship with these failures, with a joyous amusement and a firm purpose to be aware of similar situations in the future, as well of them as of all others, and to be mindful of the chance to make different decisions in those moments. The exterior is the fruit of the interior; namely, some reparations for the situations and effects of those times in which one has failed to enact eir Will; a mindset which may be fostered in three ways more especially.

First, in respect of food; by withdrawing some things, not merely superfluities (for this belongs to temperance, not to the development of right relationship with one's failings of the Will), but also suitable aliments: and the more one withdraws, the better one does; avoiding, however, the injury of one's constitution, or any serious weakness or infirmity.

Secondly, concerning the manner of one's sleep and lying; by withdrawing not soft or luxurious things alone, but also others which are suitable, so far as one may without serious danger to life or health. For which reason, nothing must be diminished from necessary sleep, unless for a short time, in order to moderate a custom (if any one has it) of sleeping too much.

Thirdly, concerning the flesh itself; that it may feel the infliction of pain, by the application and wearing of haircloth, ropes, or iron bars; or the application of strokes or blows, or the use of other austerities. In all which things, however, it seems more expedient that the sense of pain should be in the flesh alone, and not penetrate the bones, with the danger of injury to the health.  Wherefore, we should use in preference whips made of small cords, which hurt the outward parts, and not those within, so as to injure the health.


Moreover, these four things must be noted. Concerning the hedonic asceticism just described of fostering the Will, first, that the use or effect of such external expressions is three-fold; namely, that some reparation may be made for past failings; that a person may more fully come into conversation with all parts of eirself, bringing eir sensual nature, into greater communion with eir reason.  That is to say that the practice of hedonic asceticism can be used a practice to encourage and make easier the alignment of one's three souls. Lastly, that we may seek and obtain some gift through our magick, such as an inward appreciation for and understanding of tlazolli, and an abundance of both laughter and tears, neither despite each other nor because of ech other, or the ability to sit with any doubt which afflicts us.

The second, that the first two additions suit those exercises alone which are performed in the middle of the night, and about dawn. And the fourth is never to be practised in consecrated space, or before others, but only at home and secretly.

Thirdly, that when e who is being exercised does not attain the affection sought, as grief or consolation, it is expedient every now and then to change the plan of food and sleep, and the other kinds of practice; so as that we follow one practice for three days, and for the next two or
even three days leave it off; according as by different persons different practice must be performed.

Moreover, since we often omit practices of this kind from fleshly affection or erroneous judgment, as though our natural constitution were unable to bear them without great damage to the health; and sometimes, on the other hand, exceed our capability for any given practice, trusting too much to the strength of the body; by changing, as has been said, the kinds of practice, and taking and leaving them by turns, it generally happens that Antinous Nauigator, who is greatly eperienced with this sort of orienteering, helps each to discover that which suits em best.

The fourth, that the particular examination be directed to the removal of the faults and negligences which are accustomed to creep in as respects the exercises and additions; which must be observed through the three other following weeks also.

The First Week: Additions, part the first

If he who gives the exercises shall think it expedient for the advancement of those who are being exercised, to add to these meditations others, as concerning Death and other things which, though they may be difficult to face in their inevitability, nonetheless constitute the vital elements of Life; concerning Ma'at, wyrd, and other such concepts, &c.; let him not think himself prohibited, although they be not set down here.*

As to the time of the exercises, it must be so distributed that the first may be performed at midnight; the second in the morning as soon as we are up; the third before or after one's daily practice, before we have taken food; the fourth about the hour of vespers; the fifth in the hour before supper. Which distribution of time is the same for each of the four weeks: it may however be varied, and either increased or diminished, according as the age of each, his disposition of mind or body, or the complexion of his nature itself, helps him for the performance of the said five exercises.

ADDITIONS
Which are very useful for the better performance of the exercises, and for finding the things, which are desired.

The first is, that after lying down, before sleep, I think for a short space of time, during which the three pieces in praise of the puer aeternus reprinted in Devotio Antinoo from Marie-Louise Von Franz's The Problem of the Puer Aeternus might each be said once, concerning the hour at which I shall have to rise, and concerning the exercise I have to perform.**

The second, that, when awake, immediately excluding all other thoughts, I apply my mind to that which I am about to contemplate in the first exercise, the exercise of midnight; and that, for the sake of the greater shame and confusion, I set before me an example of this kind: how some Roman citizen, bowed flat before eir patron in supplication, might seek ways in which eir duty and that of eir patron, eir fortunes and those of eir patron, might intersect and unite with each other. In like manner, in the second exercise, thinking over my estrangement from the world around me, let me imagine myself to be clothed with thick and insensate clothing, and presently about to be placed in a place of supreme carnal and tactile pleasure. Engaged, therefore, with these or other thoughts, according to the nature of the things to be meditated upon, let me put on my clothes.

The third, that, while yet separated by one or two paces from the place of my coming meditation, raising my mind for a short time, during which the Ave, Ave, Antinoe hymn might be sung, I think of Antinous Nauigator as present and seeing what I am about to do; to whom I must exhibit recognition and friendship with an humble gesture.

The fourth is, to set about the contemplation itself, now kneeling on the ground, and lying on my face or on my back; now sitting or standing; and composing myself in the way in which I may hope the more easily to attain what I desire. In which matter these two things must be attended to: the first, that if on my knees, or in any other posture, I obtain what I wish, I seek nothing further. The second, that on the point in which I shall have attained the devotion I seek, I ought to rest, without being anxious about passing on, until I shall have satisfied myself.  A practice such as yoga, taichi, or some other practice that brings bodily pose into use as religio-magickal tool maybe helpful with this.

The fifth, that, after the completion of the exercise, sitting or walking, for about a quarter of an hour, I consider with myself how my meditation or contemplation has succeeded; and if badly, examine the reasons, without judgment and with purpose of amendment; but if well, give thanks to Antinous Nauigator, intending to observe the same method for the future.

The sixth, that I throw myself fully into the tears and grief for my situation.

The seventh, that, for that reason I deprive myself of all the brightness of the light; shutting the doors and windows so long as I remain there,*** except while I have to read or take my food.

The eighth, that I direct my eyes on no one, unless the occasion of saluting or taking leave require it.

The ninth, that I take my failings as moments of amusement and of learning, that I give them movement and avoid their gaining of any quality of inertness. And this is divided into interior and exterior.







------------
* This paragraph is not found in the original Spanish, but is a note of the Latin interpreter's. It is certain, however, that both St. Ignatius himself, and the Fathers taught by him, were accustomed to add such meditations.
** In the first Addition, where it is said and concerning the exercise I have to perform; it would be said according to the Autograph briefly going over in my mind the points of the exercise I have to perform.
*** Instead of there, the Autograph has in my chamber.

The First Week: The Fifth Exercise

Is a contemplation concerning hell; and contains, after the preparatory prayer and two preludes, five points, and one colloquy.

The preparatory prayer does not differ from that above. The first prelude is here the forming of the place; which is to set before the eyes of the imagination the length, breadth, and depth of hell.

The second consists in asking for an intimate perception of the sufferings which hell's inhabitants undergo; that, if at any time I should be forgetful of my Will, at least the experience of Love and compassion may compel me to Knowledge and Conversation with my Holy Guardian Angel.

The first point is, to see by the imagination the vast fires of hell, and the souls inclosed in certain fiery bodies, as it were in dungeons.*

The second, to hear in imagination the lamentations, the howlings, the exclamations, and the hatreds against the immanent divinity of the world and any of its inhabitants gross or subtle, thence breaking forth.

The third, to perceive by the smell also of the imagination, the smoke, the brimstone, and the stench of a kind of tlazolli or filth, and of putrefaction.

The fourth, to taste in like manner those most bitter things, as the stagnation, the rottenness, and the worm we call guilt.

The fifth, to touch in a manner those fires by the touch of which the souls themselves are burnt.

Meanwhile, making a colloquy with Melek Ta'us, their souls must be brought before the mind who have made their homes among the pains of hell, either because they would not see their place as cell in and among the interdependent world, or, although they did see, yet did not live according to their Will and in Knowledge and Concersation with their Holy Guardian Angel.  Lastly, the greatest joy must be given to the same Peacock Lord, that he cried 7000 years into the fullness of each baḳbûḳ aṣfar among his 7 and, having filled them, poured them upon the flames of hell, extinguishing them for all time.  An end will be made by saying the hymn to the Blue God found on Storm Faerywolf's online shrine to Melek Ta'us.






------------
* In the first point and the souls inclosed in certain fiery bodies, as it were in dungeons; it should be said and the souls inclosed as it were in certain fiery bodies, as it were in dungeons.

The First Week: The Fourth Exercise

Consists of the repetition of the third.

Such a repetition is laid down, as a kind of rumination on those things on which I meditated in the former exercises; that, by calling them to mind in continued succession, the understanding may the more easily go over the ground without turning aside. The same three colloquies will have also to be added.

The First Week: The Third Exercise

Will be only a repetition of the first and second, together with three colloquies.

After the preparatory prayer and two preludes, must be repeated the preceding two exercises, marking the points or places in which we felt a greater consolation, desolation, or spiritual affection of any other kind; and upon these we must remain longer and more diligently. Then, spiritual movement occurring to us, we shall come to the three colloquies which follow.

The first colloquy is made to our Lady, Tlazolteotl, by asking her cooperation with Antinous Nauigator, and the gaining of vision necessary to us for three things: first, that we may feel the inward knowledge of and disgust at our tlazolli; secondly, that, acknowledging the stagnating order of our actions and inactions, we may discard or make use of our tlazolli as necessary, and allow the situation and the entire world to flow freely; thirdly, that, perceiving the various uses and traps of our tlazolli, we may recover ourselves from illusions of inherent good or evil. These things having been finished, let {a hymn to Tlazolteotl and/or Sterculina that I have not found or written yet} be said once, bookended by the Opening and Closing of the Pantheon.

Let the second colloquy be made in a like manner to Antinous Nauigator, that he would obtain for us those same things.  At the end will be added the hymn for the Festival of the Stella Antinoi Antinousque Nauigator.

The third is to be made, going on in the same order, to Hermaphroditos, that e would grant us this three-fold sight and a fourth as well, the union which creates something new; and at the end the Hymn to Hermaphroditos is to be said once.

The First Week: The Second Exercise

Is a meditation concerning estrangement; comprehending, after the preparatory prayer and two preludes, five articles or points, with a colloquy at the end.

The preparatory prayer is the same as above.

The first prelude requires the same construction of the place as in the preceding meditation.

And the latter will be made by asking what we here seek; that is to say, intense grief concerning estrangement and alienation, with abundant weeping.

Let the first point be, a certain inquest by which all the ways in which one has felt alienated or estranged from the world and all the ways in one's whole life by which one has reinforced that state are recalled into the memory, the person going through, step by step, and examining the several years and spaces of time. In which thing we are assisted by a threefold summing up, by considering, that is to say, the places where we have lived, the various modes of intercourse we have had with others, and the different kinds of offices or occupations in which we have been engaged.

The second is, to weigh the alienation and estrangement themselves, how great is the pain and how damaging the effects of it.

The third is, to consider myself, who or of what kind I am, adding comparisons which may bring me closer to the world; as if I reflect how little I am when compared with all humanity; then what the whole multitude of mortals is, as compared with all beings everywhere, pervading space and time: after these things I must consider what, in fact, this world is in comparison with the vastness and variety of all the worlds floating serenely through the obsidian mirror of outer space: what, now, can I, one mere human being, be? Lastly, let me look at the damaging nature of my relations, the tightened hardness of my soul, and the pollution of my body and the world.

The fourth is, to consider what the world is, which I have thus refused and rejected, collecting the glories and beauties which are ever-present around me (reminding myself, with Tlazolteotl's name, that they are more ever-present than I tend to recognize, and working to correct that unfortunate habit) and comparing them with my beauties and glories (invoking Hermaphroditos's name for the same reminder); also to see how the world comports itself and asking Antinous Nauigator to help me find the same paths in my own life.

The fifth, to break forth into exclamation, from a vehement commotion of the feelings, admiring greatly how all creatures (going over them severally) have borne with me so long, and even to this time preserved me alive; how the angels and the spirits and the gods, bearing their magicks and their knowledges, have patiently borne with me, guarded me, and even assisted me with their prayers; how the ancestors have aided me; how the sky, the sun, the moon, and the other heavenly bodies, the elements, and all kinds of animals and productions of the earth, in place of the vengeance due, have helped me; how, lastly, the ecosphere and its immune system have yet to wipe me from the earth's face.

Lastly, this meditation must be concluded by a colloquy, in which I extol the infinite wisdom, planning, and sight of Antinous Nauigator, and in which I give thanks to the best of my power (again, to whatever god or force I might care to thank or to none at all) that I live up to this day; whence proposing for the future the amendment of myself, I shall intone once again the Antinoan Coming Forth by Day.

The First Week: The First Exercise, part the second and final

The third is, that we exercise ourselves in like manner concerning any particular failing of the Will (we shall call this the third failing, in order to distinguish it from the two above mentioned), considering that by such a failing, even but once committed, many perhaps have lost sense of their agency and thusly could not bring themselves to accomplish thy Will; and that besides, an almost countless number, for failings fewer and lighter than mine, are perhaps punishing themselves with anguish and ineffectuality. Whence it must be turned over in the memory, how great is the importance of knowing and accomplishing one's Will and how great is the loss when we fail to do so, which weakens our magicks and deafens us to the gods and spirits.  Lastly, the affections are to be stirred up, as has already been said.

The colloquy will be made by imagining Antinous Nauigator to be present before me, standing upon the prow of the Barge of Millions of Years, which is also the Royal Barge travelling up the river Neilos. Let me, therefore, inquire with myself the reason what, if I had been he, the Beautiful Bithynian Boy, upon that ship, might have appeared to my mind and my understanding.  What route might I have seen from drought to inundation?  What hazards and what aids might I predict?  Would I expect to meet Sobek or Hapy?  Would I have considered myself a possible sacrifice?  Would I feel a flash of fear, as my foot slipped and my body fell, or nothing but a solid duty as I jumped?  Let me also call myself to account, inquiring what worthy of mention I have hitherto done for my community, what I am doing now; or ought to do. And, looking upon him thus standing at the prow of the Barge of Millions of Years, which is also the Royal Barge travelling up the river Neilos, let me give utterance to such things as my mind and affection shall suggest.

Moreover, it is the property of the colloquy to be made similarly to the language of a friend to a friend, or of a child to a respected and colloquial elder; now by asking some favour, now by accusing myself of some fault; sometimes by communicating my own affairs of any kind, and asking counsel or help concerning them. Last of all, let the Antinoan Coming Forth By Day be intoned.

The First Week: The First Exercise, part the first

Of meditating according to the three powers of the mind concerning three ways in which we fail to accomplish our Will; containing a preparatory prayer, two preludes, and three leading points, with one colloquy.

The preparatory prayer is that whereby we ask assistance of Antinous Nauigator, that all our powers and operations may tend sincerely to our perfection and the accomplishment of our Will.

The first prelude is a certain way of constructing the place [or scene]; for which it must be noted, that in every meditation or contemplation about a gross thing, as for example about Antinous, we must form, according to a certain imaginary vision, a gross place representing what we contemplate; as the temple, or a mountain, in which we may find Antinous Soter, or Diuus Hadrianus Caesar, and the other things which concern the subject of our contemplation.

But if the subject of meditation be a subtle thing, as is the consideration of the Will now offered, the construction of the place may be such as if by imagination we see our Selves alone and separated from this holy world, as confined in a prison of alienation; and humanity itself, in this sundered state, an exile among brute animals.  In this way we can resist our submersion in this estranged context and take our place among the interdependent ecology of the world.

The second prelude will be to ask of Antinous Nauigator that we navigate each proposed contemplation by its proper and earnestly desired route: for example, if I am to meditate concerning the new inundation of the river Neilos after Antinous Soter's deification, I must ask for joy wherewith I may rejoice together with all the Empire rejoicing: but if concerning his drowning, let me ask tears, pains, and anguish, in order that I may suffer together with Diuus Hadrianus Caesar suffering. In the present meditation, therefore, I ought to ask for my own reflection (as in the flowing surface of the river Neilos) and liberation and resolve to change, considering how many human beings have become mired in self-indulgent guilt on account of even one single failing of the Will, and that I have so often chained myself with the same chains.

It must be noted further, that every meditation or contemplation must be preceded by both the preparatory prayer and the two preludes; but the prayer is always made in the same manner, whereas the preludes are different according to the difference of the subjects.

The first point will be to exercise my memory concerning the first error of all, which was that committed by those of us who first built cities, applying immediately the reasoning power of the understanding, and the motion of the Will, stirring me up to consider and understand those things which I may reflect upon and liberate myself from, comparing their intent and their reasons with so many of mine: whence I may gather, since their actions having succeeded in their intents have thwarted their Will and violated their understanding of the world as it has affected us their descendants, how often I myself have thwarted my Will by means of my intent by not uniting cause and effect in a single consideration of a single action. We say therefore, that one must draw into the memory, how people lived in the beginning (and live now in the beginning) understanding themselves rightly to be a cell in an interdependent world (a state we call grace), but not being willing by the liberty of the Will (which is called the proprium and is necessary for the consummation of blessedness) either to pay the price the world charged for their life in uncertainty and in hard travel or to flow according to the dictates of the world's flow, but built cities to be able to store abundance and improve nutrition and allow the development of individual souls.  These cities, however, placed nature outside their boundaries and, by thus fostering the attitude that we were in the world but not of it, caused our ancestors to grow proud against the world, and they were turned from grace to hubris, and from Paradise the world was made Enemy or was made Resource and noone can say which is worse. Accordingly we must examine, by the office of the understanding, more accurately concerning these things, and at the same time strive more earnestly to excite the affections of the Will.

The second point is, to exercise the same three powers concerning the failing of the next generation of our ancestors, which we shall call the second, going over by the memory, how long we as a race have been suffering because of it; how greatly we continue and perpetuate it through our own words and deeds; how many thousands of human beings have failed to accomplish their Will because of it. We must remember, that is to say, how Adam, the right half of the original being made of the clay of the earth in the plain of Damascus, and Eve, the left half of that being, and living in a terrestrial Paradise, free-willed and wild, when they had eaten of the fruit of the tree of their god's knowledge of good and evil, and had allowed that god and his priests and anointed kings to make meaning for them; after their submission, the great and wonderful earth immediately became no longer Paradise for them; and being clothed in clothing they were told was not fashionable, and deprived of their original wildness, dragged out the remainder of their life in servitude, in the greatest labours and miseries. Concerning these things also we must use the reasoning of the intellect and the affections of the will, as before.

What do my labels mean?

I'm labeling all my posts like a good lil blogger, but some of them might mean something very specific to me but mean different things to you.  Ergo, I shall elucidate their meaning by means of this post, which I shall edit as appropriate.

Edit-related Labels
adapted text:  This label marks a post containing my adaptation of the text of the Spiritual Exercises; that is, these posts are the meat of this blog.
Exercitia Spiritualia Antinoi:  This label marks a post containing information about my adaptation of the Spiritual Exercises, including commentary or discussion directly related to the Exercises that has come to mind as I adapted them.
explaining myself:  Posts like this one, which provide metadata about the blog or my process.
find/replace edit:  The most mindless form of adapting the text, this kind of edit consists mostly of cut-and-pasting the text and scanning it for terms I would like to change and changing them, without necessarily changing the text on a large scale.  For example, I have often changed the word "sin" to "failing of the Will".  The purpose of a find/replace edit is mostly to get a text made ASAP so that I can begin working the Exercises, even if the adaptation isn't perfectly what I would like it to be.*
first pass:  My first attempt at adapting the text, usually also a find/replace edit.  In a first pass, I am not asking many deep questions of the text or looking into the underlying memetics or structure.  Rather, I am asking very shallow questions as a way of breaking the ice with the text (the equivalent of talking about the weather to a new acquaintance).*
glossary:  A list of meanings, like this one, which might better help one understand what I mean when I say things.

Chapters of the Text
in the order they appear in the text

1. Annotations
2. Certain Spiritual Exercises
3. The First Exercise

-------------

*  I well recognize that the combination of asking shallow questions and making shallow answers leads to a fairly useless result.  Nonetheless, it leads to a result that has some use and which can allow me to embark on the practical and experiential side of this project as quickly as I can.

The First Week: Certain Spiritual Exercises, part the second and final

We must avoid, moreover, among the other hazards of speech, idle words; such as all those must be understood to be, which profit neither the speaker nor any other, nor are even uttered with the intention of doing service. But, on the other hand, no such words are by any means to be accounted idle, as concern the accomplishment of one's own or another's Will, the health of one's own or another's body, or even one's own or another's temporal advantage, or at least are directed by the speaker's mind to something of the kind, even though a person speak concerning matters foreign to eir own plan of life, as if a religious speak concerning wars or trading. But from speech ordered to a good end there arises merit; while that which is directed to a bad one, or uttered idly, hinders the knowledge and accomplishment of the Will.

Hazards of the mouth are also, lying, false testimonies, detraction. For we must not be guilty of detraction or finding fault against anyone. For by revealing anyone's grave failing, which is not public, with a bad intention, or grievous damage of another's good fame, a grave failing is also committed; by revealing a minor one, only a minor one is committed. Moreover, as often as we make known another's fault or defect, we show at the same time our own fault and defect. But where the intention is right, it will be lawful to speak concerning one's neighbour's fault in two ways.

First, when it is public, as a fault which damages community, or a thing which has been condemned by communal agreement, or is pernicious, as on account of public error damaging the lives of those with whom we live.

Secondly, when the secret crime of anyone is told to another by whose assistance e may be repair eir failing, provided there appear some probable reason or conjecture that such will be the case.

Among the hazards of the mouth might be set down also derisions, insults, and other things of that kind, which e who gives the exercises will be able to pursue as e shall judge requisite.

Concerning Deeds.

Placing before one's eyes the Law, with the ethical understandings of the individual, and those with whom e lives, we must account that whatever is done contrary to any of these is a failing of the Will; lighter, however, or more grievous, according to the different ways of failing, and the different habits of each individual. Now, we consider as belonging to the ethical understandings of those with whom an individual lives the stated boundaries and traditions of those with whom e is in spiritual community (as in a coven, temple, ekklesia, ashram, et cetera), which are accustomed to be developed in the free association of devotees both through history and in the current moment for the respect of those sacred things with which they work; by which people are invited to development of themselves and participation in sacred ritual. For indeed e fails not lightly, whoever dares to despise and transgress such pious agreements and traditions of eir spiritual community.  Should eir understandings and those of eir community come into irreconcilable and hindering conflict, the requirement of free association must be kept strongly in both eir mind and that of eir community, for sometimes separation is the proper path.

A Method of General Examination, comprehending Five Portions or Points.

The first point is, that we must maintain a practice of gratefulness for the benefits we have received, whether that thankfulness be directed to a particularly deity, oneself, or nothing at all.  This gratefulness must stem from an understanding that any benefit we might receive is in our understanding and that the world and all in it have value in and of themselves, separate from their relationship with us.

The second, that we can find great assistance and much of use by intreating our spiritual and divine aides and, in particular, Antinous Nauigator for the knowledge and shifting of our failures to accomplish our Will.

The third, to ask account of our Holy Guardian Angel concerning our failures to accomplish our Will throughout the present day, searching through the several hours from the time when we rose. And first, indeed, concerning thought; then concerning speech and deed; in the same order in which it was laid down in the particular examination.

The fourth, to be gentle with ourselves concerning our faults.

The fifth, to propose amendment with the aid of Antinous Nauigator; and after all the above to say the Flower Prayer: "Who is this flower above me?  What is the work of this god?  I would know myself in all my parts."

THE USE OF OPEN DISCUSSION OF ONE'S FAILINGS OF WILL AND OF COMMUNION.

From an open discussion of one's failings of Will voluntarily initiated with those one trusts to involve themselves with lovingkindness, among many other advantages are gained these three.

The first, that, although e who maintains an open and vulnerable relationship with those around em who are skilled in lovingkindness is by no means obliged to specially initiate an open discussion of this kind, yet the person eirself who makes it gains much more advantage and merit, on account namely of the communal recognition both of where these failings of Will have affected those around em and of the work e is doing to amend eir behavior and to repair the situation if need be, and for the chance to feel more vehemently eir and the community's emotions around these failings of the Will.

The second, that having seen, by means of the spiritual exercises, much more clearly than before, the causes and effects of these failings of eir Will, e will gain so much the greater advantage and merit.

The third, that it is reasonable to expect that e who has thus openly discussed eir failings of Will, and is thus attending to eir community and eir relationships as a permaculturist to eir garden, will be much better prepared to engage in the particular ecology of eir community, which conduces in the highest degree both to the perfection and accomplishment of eir Will, and to the preservation and increase of grace.

And this general confession will be best placed after the exercises of the first week.

The First Week: Certain Spiritual Exercises, part the first

By which a person is directed in order that e may be able to bring eir entire Self to bear in the accomplishment of eir Will; and, with a determination free from affections hurtful to this end, fulfill the dharma of eir life.

In the first place, in order that by exercises of this kind, as well e who gives as e who receives them may be profited, it must be presupposed that every pious person ought with a more ready mind to put a good sense upon an obscure opinion or proposition of another than to condemn it; but if e can in no way defend it, let em inquire the meaning of the speaker, and if in thinking or meaning e be alien to one's own thinking or meaning, present one's own thinking or meaning with lovingkindness; if this suffice not, try all suitable means by which e may render em sound in meaning and safe from unrecognized and unintended illogic.

THE BEGINNING OR FOUNDATION.

We have this as our end, that we might discern, discover, and develop our own Will, and, accomplishing this, at length fulfill our dharma, which is specific to each individual.  And the other things on this earth, though they have their own lives and their own values, might be enlisted to assist us in pursuing this goal, once one has built a strong relationship with them over time and exchange of relations of various sorts: whence it follows, that the closeness of one's relationships with each and every thing may be in proportion as they may profit or hinder em in pursuing that end, but that any relationship, regardless of its closeness, be marked by mutual respect. Wherefore we ought to be joyful in and with all created things (*and honourable in so far as they are subject to the liberty of our will and we are to theirs, and respectful in our recognition that we are whole and divine in our own will and they in theirs), so that (to the best of our power) we enjoy sickness as much health, and poverty equally to riches, contempt as much as honour, a short life equally to a long one. But it is useful, out of all, to choose and desire those things most deeply which lead to the end.**

DAILY AND PARTICULAR EXAMINATION,

Embracing three times, fitted for the disposing of one's self, and a two-fold sifting.

The first time is that of the morning; in which a person ought, as soon as e rises from sleep and completes an Iron, Pearl, and/or Plastic Pentacle (any other such ritual may be added to that list as well) for the purpose of diagnosis, to propose the diligent guarding of eirself concerning some particular failing or complex, from which e desires to amend himself.

The second is, that of the afternoon; in which e must ask of Antinoius Nauigator to look back upon eir journey through the day and to remind em that e might remember how often e has acted out of or reenacted that particular failing or complex, and to mark the oncoming path that e might be aware of it for the future (divination, here, for both parts is highly appropriate): then let em perform the first sifting, asking account of eir Holy Guardian Angel concerning the failing or complex already spoken of, and, running through the several past parts of the day, from the hour in which e rose down to the present, how many times e has committed it, and mark so many points in the first line of the figure represented below.  Which being finished, let em propose again through the remaining space of the day to act with presence, mindfulness, and intention.

The third time will be that of the evening; in which, after the hour of supper, the second sifting will have to be made, by running through in like manner the several hours which have elapsed from the former to the present examination; and in the same way remembering and enumerating the times e has acted out of the complex or failing, e will mark the same number of points in the second line of a figure like the one below, prepared for the purpose.

Four Useful Additions

For the easier and quicker resolution of any complex or failing,

The first is, that as often as one has acted out of or reenacted that kind of complex or failing, putting eir hand to eir breast, e grieve for the opportunity which has been missed, which may be done, even when others are present, without their perceiving it.

The second is, that at night, having counted and compared together the points of the lines, of which the upper is assigned to the first, the lower to the second examination, e observe whether from the
former to the latter any amendment have intervened.

The third is, that e compare together the examinations of the second and the preceding day, considering whether any amendment has taken place in em.

The fourth, that, comparing together in like manner the examinations of two weeks, e take account of the amendment made or omitted.

Also it must be noted, that, of the following figures, the first, which is longer than the rest, is assigned to the first day, say the Sunday; the second, which is a little shorter, to the Monday; and so in succession, it being reasonable that the number of events to record should decrease daily.

__________________________________________
________________________________________

______________________________________
____________________________________

__________________________________
________________________________

______________________________
____________________________

__________________________
________________________

______________________
____________________

__________________
________________

GENERAL EXAMINATION OF CONSCIENCE,

Most useful for cleansing, banishing, and purification, and inviting one's demons over for tea.

It is presupposed that there happen to a person two kinds of thoughts; the first arising from eir own proper motion, but the other coming from without, namely, from the suggestion of a daimon.

Concerning Thought.

In two ways is merit drawn from distracting or useless thought in the matter of the hooks which catch the Will, concerning which kind of thought we here speak.

By the first, when there is suggested a thought concerning acting out of or reenacting some complex or failure, but by resisting immediately it is overcome.

By the second, when a suggestion of this kind having been repelled once and again, and returning every now and then, a person continually maintains eir Will, until that element of eir relationship with that daimon which is distractive, hindering, or useless transmutes utterly; which kind of success deservedly excels the other.

But a person contravenes lightly his own Will when upon the thought of distraction, hindrance, or uselessness which has arisen e dwells some little, as it were listening and by such listening gifting the thought with eir energy or power, or when e is affected passingly by any pleasure of sense which does not empower eir own Will, or shows eirself negligent in repelling it.

But difficulty in accomplishing one's Will is received by thought in two ways.

First, when to the thought of giving one's sovereignty over to one's complexes or failings consent is in any way given.

Secondly, when that complex or failing is enacted in deed: and this is more grievous than the other, for three reasons, namely; on account of the greater length of time; on account of the more intense action; and on account of the greater number affected.

Concerning Words.

By word also is one's Will in many ways thwarted; as in misrepresenting oneself, in imprudent speech, in useless humility.  For we must not mindlessly vow, either to the gods or to any other being, unless with the concurrence of these three things: truth, necessity, and reverence. Moreover necessity is to be understood, not of the affirmation of whatever is true, but of that only which is of importance concerning some spiritual, corporal, or at least temporal advantage. By reverence we mean, when e who mentions the name of a god uses consideration, that to that god and the gods in general due honour may be given.  It must be understood, however, that although an oath by the gods, taken rashly or vainly, is a more grievous sin than one to any other being, it is nevertheless more difficult to swear lawfully, observing the due circumstances which we have mentioned, by the latter than by the former.

First, because in making mention of any being in an oath, we are not so much stirred up or rendered attentive to swear from truth and necessity, as when we name that which compels us to awe and reverence (that is to say, a god, daimon, or numen).

Secondly, because we are far less forcibly moved to give the world honour with reverence, by the mention of any being, than by that of those things which compel us to awe and reverence. Wherefore to swear by any being is better done rather by the perfect, than to those of the duller or the more ordinary sort; since the perfect, by the continual use of contemplation and by the illumination of the understanding, consider more closely, and discover that the divine exists in and as the essence, presence, and power of every creature; whence they are better prepared than others who are not yet advanced to that point of perfection, to give the world due reverence in an oath.

Thirdly, because, if any being was too frequently named for the confirmation of an oath, consideration must be given that that being may be undergoing deification, and the transition must be navigated mindfully; a hazard more to be feared for the imperfect than for the perfect.





-------
* In the Foundation, where it is said in so far as they are subject to the liberty of our will, it would be said more clearly from the autograph in so far as it is left to the liberty of our will.
** At the end of the Foundation, where we have which lead to the end, it should be read which lead us to the end of discerning, discovering, and developing our own Will.

Annotations, part the fourth and final

Foralthough one person may rightly move another to enter into Religion, in which many sacred vows of a variety of sorts must be made; although, too, a work done with a vow is more meritorious than one done without a vow, yet the greatest regard must be had to the peculiar condition of the persons. Also it must be attentively considered, what advantage [help] or disadvantage [hindrance] may occur for the performance of what any one is about to promise.

The fifteenth is, that e who gives the exercises ought not to urge the other to poverty and the promise thereof more than to the opposite; nor to this rather than to that plan of life: for although out of the exercises it is lawful, and to be accounted meritorious, to persuade all those to embrace taboos, religious life, geasa, and any other spiritual dedication, who from the consideration of their persons and conditions will probably be fit subjects; yet it is far more suitable and better, in the exercises themselves, not to attempt it, but rather to seek one's own Will, and wait until Antinous Nauigator communicate himself to the soul devoted to em, and embracing it, dispose it to the performance of its own Will, as he knows to be most fitting. Wherefore, e who dictates the exercises must stand in a certain equilibrium, and, the instrument apart, leave Antinous Nauigator to transact the matter with the exercitiant, and the exercitiant with Antinous Nauigator Amatorque Soterque.

The sixteenth is, that, in order that Antinous Nauigator may work the more certainly with the exercitiant, if the soul happen to be affected and inclined to anything less than ultimate dedication to the accomplishment of one's Will, one must struggle to the utmost and with one's whole powers to the contrary: as, for instance, if a person aspire to the getting of an office or benefice for the sake, not of the accomplishment of eir Will, or of the common liberation of all beings in all worlds pervading space and time, but only of eir own self-aggrandizement and airs, then the affection ought to be impelled to the opposite by assiduous prayers and other pious exercises in which the opposite is asked of the gods; that is to say, that e offer sacrifice of this mind to eir own Holy Guardian Angel, namely, that e seeks no longer such office or benefice, or anything else, unless e shall have so changed eir former affection, as that e may no longer desire it, or possess it, for any other reason than the accomplishment of eir Will.

The seventeenth* is very useful, namely, that e who gives the exercises, although not wishing to inquire into and know the private thoughts of the other, yet, being faithfully informed concerning the thoughts infused by various spirits, and which draw to greater or less good, should prescribe em some spiritual exercises, suited to the present necessity of the soul.

The eighteenth is, that, according to the habit of em who is being exercised, according (for instance) to eir age, learning, or genius, the exercises ought to be adapted; lest on one untutored, or weak, or delicate, those things be laid, which e cannot bear without inconvenience, much less undertake to eir profit. In like manner, according as it is in the mind of each to dispose eirself, that must be im parted to em which may most help em.  Therefore, to em who desires only to be instructed and brought forward to some step in which eir mind may be at rest, may be given first the particular examination which is found below, then the general one, and at the same time the method of praying in the morning during half-an-hour, from the consideration of the Law, as it has been communicated by various deities and as it flows through eir own Iron Pentacle; concerning which in its place below. E must be advised also to cleanse, banish, and purify every eighth day; and every fifteen days, or rather every eight, if eir affection urge em, to share food with the gods. This plan of exercise belongs properly to the more uninstructed or illiterate, with whom must also be discussed in conversation the broad concepts upon whih the Work is founded; the holiness of the five senses, the particular downfalls generally found in the Work, and the immanent divinity of all things. Also if e who gives the exercises perceives the other to be of a weak nature and of little capacity, whence no great result and fruit can be hoped, it will be better to prescribe em some of the said lighter exercises up to cleansing, banishing, and purification; afterwards to give em some examinations of conscience, and a plan of more frequent cleansing, banishing, and purification, in order that by these means e may be able to preserve the proficiency or gain, which eir soul has already obtained. But e will not go on to rules concerning elections, or any other exercises than those of the first week; especially when there are present others who may be exercised with more fruit, and the shortness of time does not admit of eir doing everything for all.

The nineteenth is, that to a person occupied with public or other useful business, whether e be furnished with genius or with learning, having an hour and a-half each day for undertaking some exercises, must be expounded first for the fulfillment of dharma: then for half-an-hour the particular examination, afterwards the general one, with the mode of confessing rightly, and of receiving the gods in order that e might share food with them, may be given him; with the direction also, that in the morning, during three days, e meditate one hour concerning the first, second, and third hooks that catch the Will, as is taught below.  Afterwards for three more days, during the same hour, concerning the inquest of behavior; for as many more, concerning the nature of Consequence, who is known to some as the Crone.

E must also have dictated to em, within the whole time of the above three meditations, those ten Additions which are found in the end of the first week.

The same plan of meditation will have to be observed with regard to the mysteries of Antinous Homotheotes which is fully explained below in the Exercises themselves.

The twentieth is, that to em who is more free from business, and desires to gain the greatest possible spiritual fruit, all the exercises are to be given in the same order in which they proceed (and indeed it is expedient to write down the heads of the matters, lest they escape the memory); in which, according to the more usual success, e will make the greater progress in the spiritual life, in proportion as e withdraws eirself the more from all eir friends and acquaintance, and from all solicitude about human affairs; as if e migrate from eir former habitation into some more secret house or cell, whence e may freely and safely go out to perform the morning sacrifice**, or the office of eir own daily practice, when e pleases, without the interruption of any acquaintance. From which local retreat, indeed, among many other advantages, these three especially arise: the first, that by the exclusion of eir friends and acquaintance, and of affairs less immediately concerned with eir Knowledge and Conversation with eir Holy Guardian Angel and the accomplishment of eir Will, e may impress upon Antinous Nauigator and those other daimones who might aid em in this task with eir dedication thereto: the second, that, by means of a retreat of this kind, eir intellect being less drawn in different directions than before, and eir whole thought being collected and reduced to one thing, namely, to enacting eir Will, and to achieving Knowledge and Conversation with eir Holy Guardian Angel, e uses eir natural powers in a freer and more unencumbered way in seeking what e so much desires: the third, that by how much the more the soul finds eirself separate and solitary, by so much the fitter e renders eirself for seeking and attaining eir dharma and eir Will; to which, moreover, by how much the nearer e approaches, by so much the better e is disposed for the reception of the gifts of the Divine.





-----------
* The seventeenth annotation should stand thus: "The seventeenth, It is very useful that e who gives the exercises, although not intending to inquire into and know the private thoughts of the other, should yet be faithfully informed concerning the various agitations and thoughts which various spirits infuse. For, having perceived eir greater or less advancement, e is able to prescribe em some spiritual exercises suited to the present necessity of the soul.
** [Ad matutinum sacrum Missae. In some editions (not in that printed at Douay in 1586) we have, contrary to the sense of the original, ad matutinum, sacrum Missae]

Annotations, part the third

For as much advantage as the other will gain from these latter, so much damage will he receive from the former, on account of the subtilty and sublimity of the matter, which is above his reach.

The tenth is, that, if he who is being exercised is tossed by complexes having on their face the appearance of Will or the appearance of healing, he must then be fortified by the aforesaid rules of the second week. For such complexes arise in those, for the most part, who have already walked in the way of life which is called the illuminative, answering to the exercises of the second week, rather than in the other which is commonly called the purgative*, and is comprehended by the exercises of the first week.

The eleventh is, that for him who is exercising himself in the first week, it is expedient to be ignorant what he is to do in the next; and to labour strenuously to obtain what he then seeks, as if he were about to find no good afterwards.

The twelfth is, that he who is being exercised must be admonished, that as on each daily exercise, of the five to be described hereafter, the space of one hour ought to be spent; he should always take care to find rest to his mind in this, that he is conscious that he has employed more rather than less time. For it is a frequent thing with an ineffectual Will to labour that the space of time appointed for meditation or prayer may be shortened.

The thirteenth is, that, whereas it is an easy and light thing, when consolation abounds, to go through with the hour; most difficult on the contrary when desolation happens; for this reason, against temptation and desolation one must always contend by prolonging the exercise beyond the prescribed hour, for the sake of overcoming. For so we learn not only to choose between our Wills, but also to bring all our diverse Wills together towards the end of achieving our magicks.

The fourteenth is, that, if e who is engaged in the exercises is seen to be borne along with much consolation and great fervour, care must be taken that e does not bind eirself by any promise or vow inconsiderately and precipitately made; and this must be so much the more diligently prevented, in proportion as e is seen to be of a more unstable disposition.






---------
* In the tenth annotation, in the end, where we have and is comprehended by, read and answers to.

Annotations, part the second

The whole time, however, of the Exercises is accustomed to be concluded in the space of thirty days, or thereabouts.

The fifth is, that e who receives the Exercises is wonderfully assisted, if, coming to them with a great and liberal mind, e offers eir whole desire and choice to Antinous Nauigator, that, concerning the exercitiant eirself and all that belongs to em, Antinous may appoint that in which the exercitiant may be able best to travel the course e sets, according to eir own good pleasure.

The sixth is, that e who gives the Exercises, if e perceives that the one who receives them undergoes no spiritual commotions of the mind, such as are consolations or sadnesses, nor any agitations of different spirits, ought carefully to inquire whether e performs the Exercises themselves at the prescribed times, and in what way; also, whether e observes diligently all the Additions; and let an account be asked of each thing. Now, concerning Consolations and Desolations we shall speak further on, in the First Rules about the discerning of spirits; concerning the Additions, in the end of the First Week.

The seventh is, that e who has the care of the exercising of another, if e sees em affected by desolation or temptation, ought to take care not to shew eirself hard or austere to em, but rather to be mild and gentle, confirming eir mind to act vigorously for the future, and having laid open the complexes of the Self and those hooks that catch the Will, to study to dispose em for consolation, as for a thing shortly to follow.

The eighth is, that concerning the consolations and desolations of em who is receiving the exercises, and concerning the complexes of the Self and those hooks that catch the Will, the Rules which are given in the two first weeks*, concerning the distinguishing of various spirits, will be able to render service.

The ninth is, that when a person is to be exercised who is inexperienced in spiritual things, so that it may happen that in the first week e may be troubled with some gross and open temptations; when e has shewn already certain impediments to following out eir Will (such as are trouble, anxiety, shame, fear, on account of worldly honour), then e who is instructing em in the exercises must dispense with the Rules which belong to the second week, concerning the distinguishing of spirits, and use those only which are given in the first.



------------------------------
* In the eighth annotation, where it is said in the two first weeks, read for the two first weeks.

Annotations, part the first

Affording some understanding with respect to the Spiritual Exercises which follow; for the help as well of em who is to give, as of em who is to receive them.

THE first annotation is, that by the name itself of Spiritual, or Subtle, Exercises is understood any method of examining one's own conscience; also of meditating, contemplating, praying mentally and vocally, and, finally, of performing any other spiritual operations, as will be said hereafter. For as, to walk, to travel, and to run, are bodily, or gross, exercises; so also, to prepare and dispose the soul to remove all affections that lead one to live a life out of line with the world they wish to create, and after their removal to seek and find one's own Will with respect to the ordering of one's own life, are called Spiritual Exercises.

The second is, that e who delivers to another the order and method of meditating or contemplating, should set forth faithfully the history of the meditation or contemplation, going briefly through the chief points only, and adding merely a very brief exposition; in order that e who is about to meditate, having taken first the foundation of the historical truth, may afterwards go over the ground and reason by eirself. For the effect of this will be, that when e finds anything which may furnish something more of elucidation or of apprehension of the history, (whether this be effected by eir own reasoning, or by divine illumination of the mind,) e will experience a more delightful taste and more abundant fruit, than if the matter itself had been more diffusely set forth and drawn out by another. For it is not the abundance of the knowledge, but the interior feeling and taste of the things, which is accustomed to satisfy the desire of the soul.

The third is, that, whereas in all the following Spiritual Exercises we use acts of the intellect when we reason, but of the will when we are affected, we must take notice that in the operation which belongs chiefly to the will, while we converse vocally or mentally with Antinous, the Heroes, the Divae Divique, vel the Sanctae Sanctique, a greater reverence is required of us, than while by the use of the intellect we are employed rather in understanding.

I'm not entirely certain of this third annotation, being of a chaote/muppet persuasion myself!

The fourth is, that, although to the following Exercises are assigned four weeks, answering to as many portions of the Exercises, each to each, viz., that in the first week the consideration may be concerning the undesired magickal effects of our actions and how those actions may be contraeffectual in building a Neos Antinoopolis; in the second, concerning the life of Antinous up to the beginning of the journey of the Royal Barge up the River Neilos; in the third, concerning Antinous's drowning in said River; in the fourth, concerning his deificaton, adding the three methods of prayer; yet these weeks are not to be so understood, as if it were necessary that each should contain seven or eight days.  For since it happens that some are slower, others more ready, in attaining what they seek, (for instance in the first week recognition, resolve, and the sweat required to change one's habitual actions,) and that some are more or less agitated and tried by various spirits ; it is sometimes expedient that any week should be cut down* or extended, according to the nature of the subject matter.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* In the fourth annotation, in the end, where we have cut down, the sense will be clearer if we read contracted.